


The Right Destination

by rapidglow



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Conversations, First Meeting On a Train, Flirting, Fluff, Fluuuuffff, Gentle Kissing, Grumpy Isak, High School, M/M, Playful Even, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-01-20 12:27:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12432855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rapidglow/pseuds/rapidglow
Summary: “And let me guess, you’re not great at first meetings?”“I’m sorry. My mind was somewhere else.”“Well, sorry for bringing it back here." The guy says and extends his hand. “I’m Even."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello,  
> So I guess I'm posting another work here, who would've thought?
> 
> I actually wrote this back in August because the idea had been haunting my mind and I had to get it out, but I didn't post it because I wasn't so sure of it. I am still not but I decided to take a risk and just go with it.
> 
> Everything is already written and I'll be posting the rest as soon as I finish proofreading, so an update every 2 days? maybe? 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy :*

 

 

His mother once told him that their lives will fall apart if he doesn’t return to God, if he doesn’t follow her orders and be the obedient kid he’s supposed to be. His father left a few months ago and his mother blamed herself for it, and she blamed Isak for it too. “He left because of you”, she told him once, during one of her episodes. And strangely enough, he believed her.

“He’s seeing another woman, Isak! We no longer matter to him, he has moved on and wants nothing to do with us anymore.” She screamed on top of her lungs when Isak got a text from his father this morning. He didn’t even have time to read it when his mother reached out to yank the phone out of his hand and smash it on the floor. Isak didn’t even try to calm her down. He did what he has been doing for a long time now. Standing still. Doing nothing. Hoping it will pass.

Except that, he didn’t go home after school today. He couldn’t handle coming back to his mother’s shouts and tears. He couldn’t force himself to look at his mother and see her not being able to look back. He’s a sixteen year old boy who expects warmth and care when he comes back home on a Friday afternoon.

So he doesn’t go home.

Instead, he’s taking the train going to Trondheim with nothing but money in his pocket and a backpack full of his school books. There is nothing to do in Trondheim. No one to visit there, no place to stay at. But it’s far, and that’s exactly where he wants to be now. Somewhere far from “home”.

The train starts moving and he’s grateful that no one is sitting in front of him or annoying him from the side. He wants to sink in his sadness, to lose himself in the dark thoughts and to drown himself in the tiring emotions that have taken over his life for quite a long time now. Back home, he couldn’t even afford to sulk or act according to his real feelings, because then he’d be a selfish son, a bad friend, a lousy student and just a teenager going through a bad phase.

But unfortunately for him, the part of his wish where he hoped he would be alone wasn’t granted, as a large body lands on the seat in front of him, causing a loud thud that makes him flinch out of his own world. He turns his head to see the person who made him break his chain of dark thoughts. He is ready to scowl in order to send “don’t speak with me” vibes, but the reason he frowns is totally different from the one he had in mind.

Apparently, beauty makes you frown, too.

The guy didn’t spare him a glance at first, busy placing his backpack next to him. It didn’t stop Isak from observing every feature in the guy’s face. A dirty blond boy with a smooth milky skin, decorated with faint freckles on the reddish cheeks. His full red lips open to release a long sigh before his eyes lift to look Isak right in the eyes, catching him off guard. The guy widens his eyes and gives the stunned Isak an even more stunned look before his face breaks into a huge grin that gives Isak a clear view to his very well structured teeth.

“Hello there!” the guy excitedly screams before removing his headset. “This seat is not taken, right?” he removes his green leather jacket and places it on his knees without breaking the eye contact. Isak shakes his head and lowers his eyes to look anywhere but the guy’s face. Not because he’s frustrated he interrupted his sad moment, but because he couldn’t be the creep that stares at strangers upon first encounters, especially when the stranger is the alive version of James Dean that gives justice to the original.

“I was expecting you to say something like ‘you already took your jacket off so why are you even asking me that?’” the guy says, forcing the shocked Isak’s eyes up, “and I was going to give an instant witty answer to that and we’ll break the ice and have a nice time until we reach our destinations.” He speaks loudly, as if they are the only one riding that train and Isak can’t help but feel uncomfortable under the other passengers’ stares.

“Excuse me?” Isak asks, expression blank but still dreary.

“Am I disturbing you?” the guy asks in a serious tone. Isak licks his lips and keeps looking him in the eyes. He doesn’t know the answer to this question. He did wish to have some time for himself, to sort his ideas out, but something is tempting him to say no, to speak to the guy, to give him the attention he wants.

Something in him wants James Dean to stay seated in front of him.

“I guess I am disturbing you. There are many vacant seats I think I can try to sit somewhere-”

“No,” it’s a short word but Isak’s voice still managed to break, “No you’re not disturbing me. It’s just that…”

“You wanted to be alone?”

Isak nods.

“And my entrance was pretty showy?”

He nods again, a ghost of a smile on his face.

“And let me guess, you’re not great at first meetings?” the guy asks his last question while narrowing his eyes, which causes Isak to faintly smile and shake his head.

“I’m sorry. I was just,” Isak starts to flap his hands aimlessly, “somewhere else.”

“Well, sorry for bringing you back here,” the guy says and extends his hand, “I’m Even and I’m not dangerous or after your phone or your money, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Isak mirrors the stranger’s action-Even’s action- and shakes his hand. “Nice to meet you, Even. But let me just tell you that I really have nothing on me that I might be worried about, if that’s all you really care about.” Isak strangely feels drawn to Even in a way he never experienced before, in a way that shouldn’t be possible for his current state of mind.

“You were supposed to say something witty like ‘that’s all what dangerous people say’ and then wink.” Even pouts, feigning disappointment.

“Yeah but what I said implied that too.”

“Damn that was wittier,” he squeezes his eyes shut and puts a hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt. He opens his eyes and leans closer, closer to Isak, “but I’m still waiting for my wink.”

“You’ll get that when I get to my destination, safe and sound.” They both laugh before it suddenly hits Isak how he missed the sound of his own laugh, that sounded even better blended with Even’s. He only heard it once but it’s addictive. Even’s laugh is addictive.

“I’ll work hard so I can get that wink out of you faster than that.” Said Even before resting his elbows on the table and his head on the palm of his hand, still close to Isak’s space.

“Good luck with that.” Isak leans back to make himself more comfortable in his seat, but also because he couldn’t lean forward and make the situation inconvenient between them.

“But before that wink, I have to get your name.” Even says in a small voice, unlike his previous words. And he’s right, Isak didn’t tell him his name, not because he didn’t want to, but because he was busy searching for a witty response to charm a stranger he just met on the train.

“I didn’t pay attention I’m sorry. My name is-”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me, really,” Even shrugs and rubs his jaw, “I guess I’ll just have fun guessing that too.”

“That too? What else are you trying to guess?”

“Guess! Two can play this game.”

“You want me to guess what you’re guessing?” Isak can’t help but snort, “You’re so weird.”

“So I’ve been told, many many times before.” He purses his lips before giving Isak an expectant look. “Well?”

“I don’t know,” Isak's eyes widen, “where I’m going, maybe?”

“Bingo!” Even snaps his fingers. “That, among other things.”

“How many things are you trying to guess?”

“Many, and I hope I have enough time to guess them all so, where are you going?”

And with this question Isak is brought back to reality. It’s true that he’s going to Trondheim, but what after that? What are the plans? Where will he stay? How long is he going to stay there? Too many questions suddenly weigh on his shoulders, and he has to fight the dejection that’s creeping up on his face before Even catches on.

“I’m going to Trondheim, I guess.” His eyes roam everywhere and anywhere except near Even’s face. He knows he’s a terrible actor and that he couldn’t make that answer seem sincere no matter how hard he would try.

“You guess?” Even asks. “I’m supposed to be the one doing that.”

“Where are you going?” Isak immediately asks to prevent any further complicating questions from Even.

“I’m going to Oppdal, thank you for asking.”

Isak nods and lowers his head. He is afraid of Even asking him about his destination or any detail that he himself doesn’t know, so he decides to be the one asking questions.

“What’s in Oppdal? That’s your hometown?”

“I’m just visiting my grandmother this weekend. She lives there.”

“Alone?” asks Isak, “I guess you’re very close to her.”

“Yeah. She’s my best friend in the whole world, and I want to spend my birthday with her.”

“Your birthday is this weekend?”

“My birthday is today, actually.” Even grins. “I’m officially nineteen today.” He says excitedly before his eyes widen and his hand slaps his forehead, “shit I should’ve made you guess my age.”

“Why are so obsessed with this…guessing game?” Isak laughs. He didn’t realize that he moved closer to Even and that it was getting more comfortable to talk to him.

“I’m just telling you things about me and you didn’t even tell me your name,” Even pouts, “you’re so difficult and I just wanted to see if you were going to ask how old I was.”

“If you didn’t tell me your age, I would’ve asked.” Isak winks and Even’s face breaks into a big grin as if it’s his birthday. Well yeah it is really his birthday.

And then it hit him. He winked! He freaking winked.

Even throws a fist in the air and closes his eyes, “he winked! Thank you lord.”

Isak’s face and ears start to redden but he can’t contain his laugh. His laugh that he has heard in the 30 minutes he’s been talking to Even more than he has in the last few months. He laughed before but it wasn’t this genuine. It wasn’t this…fun.

 

 

Even is the talkative type. Telling Isak various stories, teasing him and cracking mostly lame jokes. But Isak is so lost in Even’s words and actions that he lost track of time, of space, of everything. His heart was defrosting and his ribcage was loosening. He was having a good time, but at the same time he knew he had to push his worries down and not think about what is going to happen next. Fortunately for him, Even’s presence and constant talking made that mission possible.

 

-Lillehammer:

“Adrian?”

“No, but what’s funny is that my parents almost named me that.”

“It suits you. You would pass as an Adrian.”

“I’m sorry but that’s a stupid thing to say, and you suck at this guessing game!”

“Anyway, one more name eliminated.”

 

-Hunderfossen:

“Are you serious? Do I even pass as William?”

“Weren’t you the one saying that’s a stupid thing to say?”

“Don’t attack me with my words! And I do not look like a William.”

“Well you don’t look fourteen either.”

“I’m not fourteen, I’m six-”

“Oh my God I can’t believe you fell for it. But thank God you’re not way younger than me.”

“I didn’t tell my age! I didn’t finish the sentence.”

“So what? You’re sixty? And your name is Benjamin button?”

“Shut up!”

“Well you can’t be six. You’re not six years old, are you, Bill?”

“Oh my God Even! Are you even trying? I’m not falling for that again.”

 

-Vinstra:

“Do you realize that people would rather stand than sit next to us?”

“Do you know why, Tore?”

“Probably because you’re so loud and we haven’t stopped talking. I’m extremely thirsty now.”

“I don’t think that’s the reason, Kristian.”

“Enlighten me, please.”

“I believe anyone would be intimidated to sit next to two tall hot blond guys who seem to get along very well, don’t you think so, Julian?”

“You really hold modesty very high as a value, I like that.”

“Thank you, David.”

 

-Otta:

“180 cm. I don’t even have to guess this one, I have eyes, Robyn.”

“You can’t really tell. You haven’t seen me standing yet.”

“I’m sure you can’t be taller than that, Harold”

“Anyway. How tall are you?”

“Very tall.”

“I can tell. I’m impressed you haven’t rested your legs on my thighs yet.”

“You want me to do that? I’ve been suppressing my desire to do that because I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“Yeah because that’s how you treat someone you just met on the train. You put your feet on their lap. Very classy.”

“Is there a code for how to behave towards people you meet on the train? Because this is my first time taking it.”

“Really? This is your first time on a train?”

“Yes, Jonas. I usually go with my parents in a car or take the bus but I wanted to try the train this time.”

“Jonas? I can’t believe you guessed this name but you haven’t figured out mine yet.”

“I am really trying my best.”

“Just let me say it. I don’t mind.”

“Oh no! I’m going to find it out eventually.”

“Well I don’t think you have so much time left. Oppdal is not so far now.”

“I totally forgot about that.”

“You have to think faster if you want to get my name right before you reach your station.”

“I can’t think fast! I’m hungry”

 

.

 

The train is nearing Dombås station and Isak’s heart can’t help but sink. He knows he has to prepare himself for saying goodbye to Even, for getting back to his dark shell and let the dark thoughts crawl back in. He’s laughing on the outside but in reality he’s almost absent minded, only hearing the echoes of Even’s voice. Even hasn’t lost his smile and brightness, not even when Isak mentioned that they didn’t have much time left together. It’s not a big deal for Even. Why would it even be? Even is the easy going type that speaks to everyone and anyone, and that’s what Isak is to him, an “anyone”.

“I’m so hungry I can’t wait for another hour. I have to get us something.” Isak was lost in a haze that Even standing from his seat made him flinch and flutter  his eyelids. Even was looking outside the windows when the lights of Dombås station shined brighter.

“I’m going to get off and get us something. I’ll be right back.” Even walked so fast that Isak’s shouting after him was in vain. He left his backpack in his seat and Isak’s mind stopped functioning for a moment, not knowing what to do. Isak knows for sure that Even is not going to come back in time and that he’s going to miss the train. So he stands up, grabs his backpack and Even’s stuff and runs to the train’s door before jumping off and going inside the station. He finds Even turning around and spinning his head in every direction, clearly lost and out of place.

“Even!” he yells before approaching him in big strides, “Even what the hell?”

“The store is closed. We can’t afford to go out of the station, right?”

“Even, we can’t even afford to return to our train. It already left.” Says Isak, pointing at the leaving train.

“What?” Even frowns, “why didn’t they wait for us?”

“Even I understand it’s your first time taking the train but this is too much.” Isak says, rubbing his forehead.

“Why did you follow me? You just missed it too.”

“You left everything in the train. I just did the first thing my mind told me.”

Even reaches for his phone while Isak is staring at at him. Trondheim is still far but Isak can’t afford to get another ticket or leisurely spend money, and the fact that he’s not the only one in this situation isn’t comforting him in the slightest.

“There are still 3 stops until Oppdal.” Even licks his lips and shoves the phone back in his pocket.

“And even more until Trondheim. But Even I really can’t get another ticket. I’m a little bit short on money and-”

“We can hitchhike.” Declares Even, as if it was such an outstanding idea, as if he was totally unaffected by the situation.

“Excuse me?” asks Isak, eyes wide in shock, “Even I can’t hitchhike to Trondheim. That’s dangerous and it’s already 20:20.”

“No.” Even shakes his head before eyeing Isak, “let’s hitchhike to Oppdal. It’s not so far from here.”

Isak’s mouth falls open and his hand finds its way back to his forehead, “Even, in case you forgot, I want to go to Trondheim.”

“Your ticket said so. Your reactions and words didn’t.” says Even. Isak can’t think of anything to say in response. “I don’t know anything about you but I’m sure you don’t really want to go there.”

“Oh so you’re a psychic now?” Isak raises his voice, “you could’ve used that to guess my name.” he is a little bit angry now.

“What’s in Trondheim? Why are you going there?” Asks Even.

“That’s none of your business.” Isak shouts.

“Fair. But now I’m offering you to come with me to Oppdal. I promise you you’re going to have a good time.” Even’s face turns soft, almost apologetic.

“Even. I don’t even know you.”

“I don’t know you either. I don’t even know your name, but I want you to come with me.” Says Even, offering him his hand. Isak has no reason to accept Even’s offer, but he has no reason to decline it either. And it’s not like he has a wide range of choices now. So he nods and puts his trust in Even. He figures that nothing really ever came out of being too prudent, too meticulous. So he takes Even’s hand and hopes for the best. Although he’s not in the state to wish for anything at the moment.

 

.

 

It is 21:21 when a married couple going to Oppdal agrees to let them on. When Isak took Even’s hand, he didn’t expect that a miracle would happen and that someone, going to Oppdal, would let two stranger boys with backpacks in their car at a late hour. It’s too good to be true and Isak just hopes his body wouldn’t end up behind a dumpster or eaten by wild animals in the end of this adventure.

But what freaks him out the most is how calm Even has been during the whole thing. Isak is not sure whether it’s just a façade and Even is just hiding his concerns, or he’s really so carefree that being in a stranger’s car is not disturbing him in any way.

But what Isak meant by calm is that he’s composed and not showing any sign of worry, not that he’s quiet. Even hasn’t stopped talking or trying to make Isak laugh since they have left the station. And despite the fact that it’s not doing anything to tame Isak’s fears, he’s grateful Even is being positive amidst this situation. And he can’t lie and say Even’s lame jokes and puns didn’t make him laugh at all.

 

.

 

They just reached their destination, unscathed and in one piece. But Isak’s nerves haven’t found their tranquility yet as another concern takes over his mind. They are approaching Even’s grandmother’s house. Even has been telling him about her for the last twenty minutes, and if she was exactly how Even has been describing her, she would be the coolest  Grandmother and Isak would have nothing to worry about. But he can’t help but doubt himself and how she’s going to feel about him or about the fact that he’s crashing her grandson’s birthday party, birthday weekend.

Even is knocking on the door and Isak is holding on the hem of his jacket as if he’s holding himself in place. His heart soar when the door opens, revealing a lovely old woman in pink pajamas with a huge grin on her face.

“My baby.” She opens her arms and hugs Even before even letting them in. she’s a woman of a short height and seeing her hugging the very tall Even is somehow heart whelming and is making Isak crack a small smile.

“How is my Marianne doing?” says Even, cupping his grandma’s face and shaking her head playfully. Hearing that name made Isak’s heart shrink a bit, but he’s not going to think about that now. He doesn’t even have the time to consider sulking now, as Even’s grandmother looks past Even and fixates her eyes on Isak.

“Even you should’ve told me you’re bringing company.” Isak panics, but it doesn’t take long before Even’s grandmother speaks again, “now he must think I look like an old woman trying so hard by wearing sexy pink pajamas to impress her grandson.”

Isak makes an awkward smile while Even laughs thunderously. “Don’t worry Marianne. You look cool. You look hot. Right?” he turns his head to look at Isak, who finds himself obliged to nod. In fact, he’s glad to.

When they’re finally inside the house, Marianne lets go of Even’s hand and walks towards Isak before taking him in her arms, squeezing his shoulders. “What’s your name?” she asks after releasing Isak from her embrace.

“Isak.” He says, looking immediately in Even’s direction, only to find the latter grinning while his eyebrows are in the middle of his forehead.

“Isak” repeats Marianne, “beautiful name. It suits you.” She adds.

“It really does.” Comments Even, trying to control his giggles.

“Why are you laughing?” asks Marianne, turning her head to face Even, “you’re in trouble, mister.” She points her finger at him, “you told me you had problems with Sonja but you didn’t tell me that you got yourself a beautiful boyfriend.”

Even lets out a loud laugh while Isak’s eyes are about to detach themselves from their place. What did he get himself into? Should he say something? Why is Even just laughing and not saying anything?

“How do you like the surprise, Marianne?” asks Even, taking steps towards his grandmother.

“I might start liking him more than I like you. He’s so much prettier than you.”

“Marianne! You don’t like me, you love me. And how can you say that?” he playfully flickes her cheek with his finger, “It’s my birthday.”

“Yeah but have you seen him? Have you seen those curls? Nothing can beat the curls, darling.”

Even continues laughing before placing his hands on her shoulders, “Chill, Marianne. He’s a friend.”

“Friend?” she turns her head to look at the very confused Isak, “I know all your friends.”

“Marianne! We’re hungry!” he turns her head and forces her to look at him, “What are you going to feed us?”

“Go wash and you’ll find food served and ready for you.” She winks and heads directly to the kitchen. Even lowers his head, still laughing like he can’t control himself. He looks up and comes closer to Isak.

“So Isak, huh?”


	2. chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the second chapter, right on time. Enjoy!

 

 

Going to a stranger’s house, taking a shower there, sitting at a table with an old woman and her grandkid, Isak never imagined he would be doing any of these when he took the 16:02 train today. He never imagined doing them ever.

But here he is, pupils weary and eyes lowered, wearing a stranger’s clothes that are so big for him and crashing a party of two. He lets out little smiles as Even keeps telling his grandmother about little stories that have happened him, totally unconcerned by the fact that Isak is right there, listening to details about somebody’s life that hours ago he wasn’t even part of.

The ambiance gets gloomy when his grandmother mentions Sonja. Isak doesn’t miss how Even’s voice pitch lowers when he begins talking about how they decided to take a pause a few days ago. He also doesn’t miss when Even glances at him when his grandmother starts reassuring him that they will eventually get back together, because they’re the perfect couple, because that’s how it always goes between them.

It’s for sure now that Even is in a relationship, a relationship that is currently going through a rough road, but strong enough for Even’s grandmother to call it perfect.

Not that Isak cares that much. He is just a little bit curious about Even’s life.

But why is he?

 

 

It isn’t before an hour when Even’s grandmother disappears into the kitchen, only to reappear moments after, holding a brown cake and wearing a purple birthday hat. Isak follows when she starts singing the birthday song to Even, who is fully pretending to be shocked by the most unsurprising surprise ever.

They cut the cake. They have some of it while Even and his grandmother are still reminiscing about old anecdotes and Even’s childhood stories. Isak is grateful that none of their attention is directed towards him as his eyes battle to avoid their stares. It’s comforting how they’re not forcing him to speak or indulge in their conversation, but it’s discomposing how he feels slightly neglected at the same time. He doesn’t want attention but the total absence of it is unsettling.

And as if they could hear his thoughts, Even’s grandmother turns to look at him. “How did you like the cake, darling?” she asks with a soft smile, “I made it myself.”

“It’s so good. Thank you.” Isak means it. He’s not a sweets guy but he can bring himself to appreciate delicious things when he eats them.

Even’s grandmother changes her posture and fixates her eyes on him and Isak can’t help but embrace himself for whatever is coming next. “This is the first time Even brings someone here. You must be very special.”

Or very lost and has nowhere to go, Isak thinks. He looks at Even, asking for his intervention, but he just fixates his eyes on him as if he’s not concerned by Marianne’s statement.

“Don’t be shy kid. I’m the coolest ever. Where do you think Even got it from?” she yawns as soon as she finishes her sentence and Even immediately laughs.

“You just broke your cool with that yawn grandma.” He continues laughing, “We all need sleep anyway.”

“Just go to your room and prepare yourself to sleep. I’ll take care of the dishes.” She pushes the chair back and stands up.

“No, let us help.” Isak doesn’t know what pushed him to say that but now that’s out there, he smiles a little bit too wide, a little bit too strained.

“No honey, I’m just glad I heard your voice.” She walks towards the kitchen and blows Even one last kiss. “Good night kiddos.”

.

 

He stops in his tracks when he sees a one full size bed as soon as he enters the room. He wasn’t expecting a bed for his own. He wasn’t expecting anything at all, and he did see it when he took a shower and changed his clothes earlier, but now that reality is presented to him, he panics.

Even pushes him gently to close the door behind him. “You’re going to sleep standing or what?” he asks before marching towards the bed and sitting on it.

Isak pretends to cough. “There is one bed.”

“Great observation, Isak.” Even says, lifting his chin and spreading his legs.

“If you can give me an extra blanket and a pillow I can sleep on the floor.” Isak says, pointing at the floor next the bed.

“But what if I can’t?” Even challenges, highly amused by Isak’s aloofness.

Isak shrugs. “I’ll sleep on the floor anyway and tomorrow is another day.”

“Or,” Even leans back on his outstretched arms, “we can share the bed.”

Isak, to be very honest to himself, was expecting this response. But he doesn’t know if he should pass it as a joke or take it seriously and reject the offer.

But why he is so stirred by this anyway?

“No thanks,” he chooses to take it as a joke, “you’re too big.” It’s less inconvenient this way.

“I’m a peaceful sleeper. You won’t even notice I’m next to you.” Even sounds serious now.

“Just get me what I need and I’ll sleep on the floor, Even.” He sighs, “it’s fine. Actually I would feel more at ease that way.”

“I’m not letting you sleep on the floor, Isak.” He almost sounds irritated, but not much for Isak to be mad about. “We’re both tired so let’s just sleep on a comfortable material, okay?” Even doesn’t phrase it out as a question.

Isak doesn’t have time to protest more when Even stands and heads toward the washroom. “Come on, we need to brush our teeth.”

But Isak didn’t bring a toothbrush. He didn’t even bring extra clothes. “I don’t have a toothbrush.” He says.

“Use your finger then.” Even jokes, “I have an extra one, just come.”

And Isak can’t think of anything better than following him.

 

.

 

He’s now lying on his right side, totally aware that Even next to him is still awake as his cold heel just touched the back of his leg. His whole body is aching and he would rather concentrate on that pain than think of other things, of more painful things.

Except that Even has other plans for him. “Isak?” he whispers.

“Yeah.” Isak whispers back, not moving or turning around.

“Do you want me to ask you what’s wrong or should I mind my own business?” Isak can tell Even just switched his position and now he’s also sleeping on his right side.

But Isak keeps quiet. Weighing his options. He wants to tell, let it all out, rant his misery at Even, at least for the moment. But he can’t. He shouldn’t. He doesn’t know Even that good. He doesn’t want to annoy the birthday boy that much. Not on his birthday. Not on any day ever.

“You can tell me, let it all out.” Even sounds like he just read Isak’s mind. “I’ll just listen. I won’t even comment if you don’t want me to.”

Isak takes a deep breath. “It’s so disordered, Even. And it’s your birthday. You shouldn’t be hearing messed up stories on your birthday.” He says, voice low and fragile.

“I can handle messed up stories, Isak.” He says in a consoling tone, “and it’s not my birthday anymore, if that makes you feel better.” He adds.

“You really don’t want to hear all the depression shit, Even.” He’s fighting a sob, “my life is too disarrayed you wouldn’t even imagine.”

“I’m pretty sure I can, Isak.”

“I’m damn sure you can’t, Even” he raises his voice, “today was the first day you took the train and you looked like a child in a candy store. You spend your birthdays with your grandmother who wears pink pajamas and makes you call her by her name. You have a girlfriend back home and your parents called you twice today to make sure you’re alright.” He’s already regretting saying every single word, “you can’t.”

“God, you’re so wrong.” Says Even, sounding almost like he’s about to cry.

“I’m sorry.” Isak doesn’t appreciate what he just said. Even meant no harm and he lashed out at him for just being considerate.

“You don’t have to tell me anything.” He feels Even returning to lie on his left side, “but I noticed you don’t have a phone. So if you want to use mine, go ahead.”

“Thanks.” Says Isak, “Good night, Even.”

“Good night, Isak”

 

The silence returns and Isak can hear Even’s breathing evening. He feels isolated now, completely alone in the room, in the universe. The only things keeping him company are his dark thoughts, the ailing words of his mother, the saddening old memories with his father, and the feeling he shouldn’t have for Jonas.

Isak wanted to go far away, to get away from those thoughts, but they keep finding their way back to his mind, back to where they never really left. So he drowns in them, hoping they’ll pass, hoping they’ll put him to sleep.

Until everything gets dark, and he stops thinking at all.

 

.

.

 

On school days, his phone alarm wakes him up. His mother’s voice or the smell of coffee wakes him up on the weekend.

But now, a familiar smell is forcing his brain to regain consciousness and his eyes to open. And the first thing he sees through his eyelashes is Even, sitting on the sill of the open window with a cigarette between his lips. Isak unintentionally makes a weird sound which causes Even to turn his head and look down at Isak.

“Good morning, Isak.” He throws the cigarette’s butt out of the window and proceeds to walk toward the bed, “sorry I woke you up. I had to smoke and I didn’t want my grandma to see me.”

“You could’ve just smoked in the bathroom.” Jokes Isak, sitting himself up.

Even laughs, “I didn’t know you were the grumpy type.”

“I didn’t know you smoke.” Says Isak, getting out of bed and trying to shake the drowsiness off, “what time is it?”

“It’s eight in the morning.” Says Even, grabbing a towel and handing it to Isak, “Go wash your face. We have a long day ahead of us.”

“Eight?” Isak narrows his eyebrows, “why am I awake this early on a Saturday?” he takes the towel.

“Because we have things to do.” Even nods towards the washroom.

“Like what?” says Isak, still standing face to face with Even.

“You told me you’ve never been here,” Even goes to sit on the bed, “so I’m going to show you how beautiful Oppdal is.”

“And the beauty of this village can only be seen early in the morning?” asks Isak, dragging his feet towards the bathroom.

“You won’t be able to witness that anyway today. I’ll show you around in the afternoon.”

“And what are we going to do until then?” Isak turns around, waiting for the answer.

“Some labor.” Says Even with a grin on his face, looking like he’s harboring a secret.

“Like what?”

.

Like cleaning the house, apparently.

“We’re helping Marianne clean the house.” Said Even when Isak set a foot outside the shower. Isak widened his eyes as if he was asking if Even was serious.

It turns out that he really was as he’s handed a cloth to clean the furniture as soon as he finished his breakfast. “I’m going easy on you and just giving you the easy tasks,” said Even, rolling up his sleeves, “hospitality is one of our family’s virtues.” He winks before disappearing into the kitchen.

Isak finds himself lost in the absurdity of the current situation. He’s also amazed by the fact that Even and his grandmother are treating him like someone they have known for a long time. Like someone they usually joke with. Like someone they would force to do housework on a Saturday.

But strangely, Isak feels more comfortable in his skin now. Sure, he’s about to clean the house of someone he barely knows for no apparent reason at all and with no preliminary at all, but he’s doing something he never imagined he would be doing, and as silly it sounds, it feels a little bit…exciting.

And it gets a little bit more exciting when “Ring Meg” by Gabrielle starts playing loudly, the sound obviously coming from the kitchen. He goes to check if Even just really and deliberately played that particular song, only to find Even’s grandmother dancing, or more like moving around in an attempt to dance, while Even is leaning on the sink, watching it as if he’s used to it.

“I love this song!” shouts Even’s grandmother, still moving her body left and right.

“I know you do, granny. I like it too.” laughs Even, “I’m starting with this so I can play whatever I want next.”

“Are you going to force me to listen to those songs that have slurs as lyrics?” she stops dancing and crosses her arms, clearly judging her grandson.

“Not all the songs I play have cuss words in them.” Says Even.

“Well it’s all I hear when you play them.” She grumbles.

“Maybe it’s because that’s all you care about.” He laughs before dodging a light hit on his stomach.

“Maybe we should let Isak choose the next song.” Says Marianne, turning to look at Isak who is standing still, marveling at the domesticity he has been witnessing.

“Maybe he should go back to finish the task I gave him.” Says Even, lifting his left eyebrow and pouting his lips.

“You gave him a tough task!” she playfully hits his head, “who taught you hospitality, kid?”

“I’m joining him in a minute!” shouts Even, “just stop dancing and let me finish the dishes.”

“No one forced you to stop working and watch me dance.” She yells, “Don’t pin your laziness on my dancing, regardless of how fantastic it may be.”

And their sprightliness continues, and so does Isak’s staring. He’s has been so focused on the duo that he didn’t notice when he started smiling, or when he started giggling, or when he started laughing. And only the sound of his laugh that turn Even and his grandma’s attention back to him. They’re looking at Isak as if he just revealed a secret, as if they just witnessed a miracle.

But maybe it is a miracle. Isak missed the sound of his own laugh.

 

 

Songs change from pop to hip hop to R&B to alternative rock but what doesn’t change is the overflowing energy that is dominating the house. Isak has found himself immersed in the joyful bubble Even and his grandmother are living in. And now that they finished cleaning, they’re finally aware of how sweaty they are and how fast their hearts are pounding. Cleaning and music is the best combination, but also the most tiring one, Isak has come to conclude.

Also, Isak wouldn’t admit it out loud but, he did sing to the lyrics of the songs he knew, and he did dance to songs that made him feel like it.

“Marianne, we’re hungry!” Even shouts for his grandmother who is the kitchen to hear.

“I’m doing the best I can, kid. Shut up!” she responds.

Even turns his head to look at Isak, “you’re about to have the best Kjøttkaker with brown sauce and potato klub you’ve ever tasted.”

“I’m so hungry I could eat anything.” Says Isak, patting his stomach.

“That is a bit offensive to me, kid” says Marianne, walking out the kitchen with glasses in her hands, “I didn’t spend my time cooking for you to say that.” She puts them on the table and motions for the boys to stand up.

“Watch it, Isak. Marianne is pretty sensitive when it comes to her cooking.” Says Even.

“You watch it too kid and come help me dress the table.”

 

And Even was right, Marianne’s cooking was enjoyable, but what was more enjoyable was the grandmother/grandson dynamics he was observing in front of him. Isak’s maternal grandparents passed away when he was a kid but he still has his fraternal grandparents, and he does have a good relationship with them. But it’s not as intimate as what is in front of his eyes.

He can’t lie. He’s a little bit envious. And he’s a little bit entertained.

 

The table is cleared and the dishes are washed, and Isak wishes for nothing other than a long nap to make his body regain strength. But unfortunately for him, Even has other plans for both of them.

“Get up and get dressed, we’re going out.” He says as he hands Isak his clothes, “you can sleep when we come back.”

“But where? I’m tired, Even” protests Isak, but still taking his clothes.

“I have to show you the glory of Oppdal, buddy.” Says Even, wiggling his brows.

Isak notices how Even grabs a camera from his backpack. “Oh my God, are you one of those?” he snorts.

“Those as whom?” says Even, still focusing on cleaning his camera.

“As pretentious dudes who take cool pictures of nature and people for the Instagram aesthetic?”

Even snorts and turns to look at Isak, “so what if I am? Do you have a problem with that?”

“No, as long as you don’t force me to take risky adventures with you just to take silly pictures,” Isak gets up, getting closer to Even ,”some people die because of that.”

“You’ll be following me so if anything dangerous happens, I’ll be the first to get hurt.” He winks and puts his camera down. He proceeds to take the hem of his shirt, obviously planning to change his clothes. Isak immediately turns around and clears his throat.

“Wouldn’t it be better if you take photos in the morning?” he says, hoping his voice doesn’t crack in the middle of his sentence, “isn’t that what photographers prefer? Sunsets and sunrises?”

Even laughs, “do you even live in this country?” he jokes and Isak can hear how he zipped his jacket, “I want to take some photos in the sun. It’s cloudy in the mornings.”

Isak finishes changing in no time, feeling grateful he didn’t trip or wear his clothes reversed. He’s also thankful Even didn’t comment on how he had to turn and face the wall to change, and not do it naturally like Even did.

Because he doesn’t know the answer either.

Or maybe he does.

.

.

 

“Isak, where are you going?”

“You are not taking a photo of me. I’m not nature.”

“Technically you are and you-”

“Don’t go smart on me. I don’t want to do it.”

“Your face won’t even show, just your silhouette I promise.”

They’ve been going around the forest for two hours, and Even wouldn’t stop telling Isak all the tales his grandma put him to sleep to. Isak was having fun, teasing Even when he could and merely laughing at him when he couldn’t.

But now he’s trying to convince Even that he doesn’t want to be a “Model” for him. For no reason other than the fact that Isak refuses to oblige to every favor Even asks for.

“I shouldn’t help you in anything.” Flares Isak, still refusing to hear Even out, “My shoes are ruined because of you.”

Even takes steps closer to Isak, looking down at his dirty sneakers. “Why is this my fault?”

“You didn’t warn me that we would be walking hours in the forest.” Isak lowers his head to look at his feet when Even gets too close.

“What did you expect? Going around the streets.” He reaches out his hand to remove a small stick from Isak’s shoulder, and Isak couldn’t help but hold his breath.

“I didn’t have time to expect anything. You practically dragged me out of the house.” He shifts his weight from foot to another, trying to extract the tension.

“Did you want to stay home with Marianne?” Even jokes, stepping back, “you should’ve just said it. She would love that. She’s all for the curls, you know.” Even winks before turning around and starting to walk again.

“Shut up.” Grumbles Isak weekly as his cheeks blush.

 

It’s February and the snow is decorating the mountains and the roofs. The weather is cold and it’s difficult to move freely in all the layers they’re wearing. But Isak is taking in everything he’s experiencing at the moment. With Even. He’s known him for only a day but he can feel how fast he’s becoming attached to him. Interested in him.

Almost addicted to him.

 

.

.

 

“I can’t believe you just exposed me to your grandmother,” says Isak, throwing his backpack on the bed and turning to face Even again, “I’m never trusting you again.”

Even is still laughing, “You should’ve seen your face.” He looks on the bridge of exploding, “it’s okay. Don’t overthink it.”

“You were the one who said she’s sensitive when it comes to her cooking.” Snaps Isak.

“I think she would like some constructive criticism. The potatoes would’ve been better if they were served hot.”

The sun set a long time ago and they just came back for their little journey. They returned to a very hyper grandmother waiting for them with arms crossed scolding him for being late. But Even decided to escape that situation by throwing Isak under the wheels and exposing him for what he said about the cold potatoes.

“I think you’re just a coward who couldn’t find a better excuse to escape their grandmother’s wrath.”

“Wrath?” Even starts laughing again, “I can’t believe I just heard grandma and wrath in the same sentence. She’s the sweetest ever.”

“So that’s why you betrayed me like that in front of her?” Isak asks.

Even comes closer and grabs Isak’s shoulder, “don’t hold a grudge and get change. I’m starving.”

“We’re not going to take a shower first?” asks Isak, scratching his neck.

Even removes his scarf and stretches his arms above his head, “do you want to keep my grandma waiting?” he asks, “She told us to be down in fifteen minutes and it’s already been ten minutes. Unless you can take a shower in 4 minutes.” He laughs.

“Can you stop your dumb jokes?” Isak rolls his eyes and starts awkwardly removing his jacket.

“Can you stop rolling your eyes?” challenges Even, “you’re practically asking for teasing and lame jokes with your reactions.”

“I’m so hungry to deal with you, Even.” He changes his clothes in the fastest moves ever.

“I take that as a compliment. Now hurry and let’s go charge ourselves.”

 

 

It’s 22:00 and Isak is lying in bed, alone while Even is taking a shower. A part of him wants to take his mind back to Oslo, where his worries and fears were left unresolved until further notice. But the other part of him is revisiting all the things that happened to him in the past hours he spent away from home.

And the feeling is overwhelming. His body is aching and his limbs feel heavy. His eyelids threaten to close and force him to give his mind a temporary rest, but he freshens up when Even walks out of the washroom, fully dressed, still drying his hair with a towel.

“You’re still up?” asks Even, throwing the towel he used over the door to let it dry.

“You can see that my eyes are still open.” Says Isak, looking at Even from the corner of his eye.

“Some people sleep with their eyes open.”

“Well they sure don’t respond to people when they sleep.”

“Actually that’s possible. It’s called-”

“Do you have to give a witty response whenever I say something?” snaps Isak, “Dear Lord!” he growls.

Even snorts and sits on his side of the bed, “I hate to break it to you Isak, but you’re the one starting it every time.”

“No I’m not!” retorts Isak, voice higher than before.

“Here we go again.” Laughs Even, finally lying on his back, fixating his glare on the ceiling.

They rest in a comfortable silence. Their breathing is matching and they are both still fully awake, waiting for the other to start a conversation. Isak wants to cut the silence so he asks the first question that comes to his mind.

“Where is your grandfather?” he asks a simple question. Not too personal. And not too sudden.

“He passed away four years ago.” Responds Even, quite immediately.

Isak regrets asking this question because he doesn’t know what to say other than the most common and basic response in a similar situation, “sorry.”

They fall back into the silence, listening to their breaths and the sounds of nature.

Until it’s Even’s turn to break the silence. “I’m going back to Oslo tomorrow.”

Isak knows what Even is hinting at, and he chooses not to dodge it. “I am, too. I have to.”

“I’m going to take the train.” He says, sounding almost indifferent.

“I’ll be going with you.” Responds Isak. His chest tightens and his body flinches.

“What is going to happen when we reach there?” asks Even, still looking at the same spot.

“We’ll go back to our regular life.” says Isak, not changing his position either.

“So,” Even clears his throat, “we’ll go our separate ways.” He offers a statement rather than a question.

“Do you want that?” asks Isak, totally unable to control his words anymore.

“Do you?”

 “No I don’t.” says Isak, not thinking of the consequences of his words.

“I don’t either.” Says Even, sounding little bit more cheerful.

But not cheerful enough to make Isak feel good. “You probably do.”

Isak can feel and see Even moving in his place, shifting to look at Isak. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe,” he swallows, “maybe you wouldn’t like the real me. The Isak who lives in Oslo and goes to a high school in Oslo. Also, I’m sixteen, and you’re nineteen. It’s not possible for us to be friends.”

Even doesn’t say anything, but Isak feels how his eyes bore at the side of his face. He inhales and exhales and Isak can feel his breath on his arm.

“Let me ask you a question, Isak.” He doesn’t wait for Isak’s authorization. “Are you going to like the Even who lives in Oslo, or would he be different than the Even you met on the train and spend your weekend in Oppdal with?” he sounds serious, almost judgmental.

“Don’t play reversed psychology on me, Even. You are a smart guy, so I’m sure you have noticed I’m not a cheerful sixteen year old who took the train just to go promenade miles away from home without a phone or extra clothes.” His voice is so loud that he can hear the echo of his words.

“I’m not playing anything here, Isak.” Says Even, moving a little bit closer to Isak, “I just don’t like how little you think of yourself.”

“Maybe I’m thinking of myself just correctly, Even.” It’s beginning to become hard for him to speak, even harder fighting his tears. “I’m the total opposite of you. Someone as lively as you would never understand or befriend someone sullen like me.”

“You say that I don’t know you,” says Even, sounding way calmer than Isak, “but don’t forget that you don’t know me either, Isak. You just described me as a lively person, and trust me, I only wish to be that.”

Isak is fully crying now. He’s not making any sound but he’s sure Even is aware of his tears. They don’t say anything as Isak is fighting to calm himself down, to chase all memories that’s bruising his heart, that’s making it difficult for him to breathe.

“I’m sorry.” Isak manages to say.

“I don’t know why you’re apologizing, but I’m sorry too.” Says Even, looking away and back where his stare was before.

“I’m just scared to go back there.” Says Isak, so low that it’s difficult for him to hear himself.

“What’s scaring you in Oslo?” asks Even, carefully making more space between them, as if he’s letting Isak breathe.

“My father. My mother,” pauses Isak, “Me.”

Even just hums. He doesn’t say any word, and he doesn’t make any action. As if he’s letting Isak to choose whether to continue or just close the subject and sleep to end the day.

But strangely, Isak feels like revealing it all.

“My father left me and my mom last year. My parents hadn’t been on good terms for as long as I can remember but I couldn’t even imagine that he would get fed up and leave us. He left me too. I didn’t do anything but he left me behind too.” He breathes in, “And my mom. She’s just, not alright. She’s scaring me. I don’t know how to deal with her most of the time. It’s almost as if she’s crazy. She throws tantrums and starts screaming even when I do absolutely nothing, even when she’s totally alone. And I’m tired. I’m tired because I can’t burden anyone and tell them what’s happening to me. I’m tired because it’s not fair that I’m being punished for no reason.” He breathes out.

And the air feels heavier around them after his outburst comes to an end. He turns his head to look at Even, regretting what he just did, only to see Even looking back, eyes dim, but not filled with pity.

Isak’s heart returns to its normal pace and his tears don’t find their way to form in his eyes.

Even is not pitying him now. He’s not judging him. He’s just, looking at him.

“What about you?” asks Even, eyes still glaring at Isak’s.

“huh?” asks Isak, frowning.

“You said you’re scared of you.”

Isak remembers how his tongue slipped more than he planned for. Even is not forcing him to reveal anything but he still feels cornered and caught off guard, not because he doesn’t want to say anything, but because he doesn’t know what to say. He has to answer that question for himself first.

“I’m scared of myself too.” Even chimes in, saving Isak from the chain of self-loathing thoughts. “I’m scared of things I do sometimes and of things I can’t control.”

“We are all like that, Even.” Says Isak, coughing to regain his voice. “We all have things we can’t control. It’s mainly why I’m here and why I’m feeling-”

“No, Isak!” Even cuts him off midsentence, voice a little bit hoarse. “It’s not like that.”

“Like what then?” asks Isak, turning his head to look at Even, afraid he just a crossed the limit.

“I think,” Even clears his throat and arches his back, “I think it’s something similar to your mother.”

“What? You throw tantrums out of a sudden and scream at people around you?” asks Isak, hoping what he said crossed as a joke, but Even’s indifferent reaction made him want to take it back.

“Yes.” Answers Even, whispering. “Sometimes, I do that.”

“Okay.” Says Isak, only because he couldn’t think of a better word.

“Are you going to give up on your mother?” demands Even, turning to lay on his right side, his hand under his cheeks but eyes still on Isak.

Isak closes his eyes, licks his lips and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know.” He turns his back on Even. “I’m just tired.”

“I am too.”

Isak can feel how Even gets closer to him. He can feel how he pulls the blanket to cover Isak’s shoulder. He can also feel how he threw his left arm over Isak’s waist, putting his hand lightly on his stomach and pulling him close, ever gently.

And Isak doesn’t protest any of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't expect that people would actually read and like the first chapter. Thank you thank you thank you.
> 
> I forgot to mention this very important detail. I actually got the idea for this AU when a friend reminded me of an indian movie called "jab we met". if by any chance you have watched it, you would probably know where I come from.
> 
> Let me know what you think of the second chapter in a comment if you'd like to leave one :D
> 
> Have a good day/evening/night :*


	3. chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I present you the third chapter. Enjoy!

 

He has been awake for a while now, but he couldn’t move for two reasons. First, because he shouldn’t be waking up before Even and his grandmother and counting the minutes in boredom until they do. And second, because strangely, he didn’t move in his sleep and his back is still firmly glued to Even’s front body. So he keeps lying in bed, eyes and legs still, and only his eyelids and pupils moving. But the itching he feels in his nose is threatening to chatter his act and wake Even up.

He has tried but he can’t hold it longer. He sneezes and feels how the whole bed moves underneath him. He hopes he didn’t wake Even up but his hope is crashed when he hears Even laughing and feels his breath on his nape.

“You’ve been fighting that sneeze for a long time. I think you even woke my grandmother up.” Even keeps on laughing, moving his arm away and turning on his back. Isak quickly sits up and looks down on Even, frowning and opening his mouth.

“You’re awake?” he asks, voice still hoarse from sleep.

“Yes I am.” Even looks up, eyes half open and teeth showing. “I woke up even before you did.”

Isak widens his eyes, “why didn’t you get up then?”

“For the same reason you pretended to be asleep for.” He props himself on his elbows and keeps looking at Isak. “Also, I got used to your body warmth.” Isak doesn’t know if he winked because he immediately turned his head away, hoping his blush wasn’t visible to Even.

Even reaches for his phone, “It’s seven and a half, we have to hurry if we want to catch the 09:58 train.” He gets up and heads to the closet.

“So you understand trains now?” jokes Isak, removing the blanket with one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other. He stands up and looks at Even who is laughing while searching in his closet.

“I’m no longer a beginner.” Even says before handing Isak a towel, “go freshen up first. I’ll go wake Marianne up.”

*

*

 

Even rushes him to move before finishing his cup of coffee. “Isak we have to go.” He wears his scarf and gloves while Isak puts his cup down and stands up.

“There is still some time until your train, why are you rushing Isak?” snaps Marianne, sitting across from Isak and glaring at Even. “Let him finish his breakfast. He still has gunk in his eyes.”

Isak lifts his hand to clean his eyes following what Marianne spoke about. “He developed a train phobia, Marianne.” He says, grinning at Even pouts in response.

“You are making this difficult for me, kid.” Marianne takes a sip from her coffee and sighs. “He finally calls me by my name and you want to take him from me.” She pouts and lowers her sorrowful eyes.

Even hands Isak his backpack and jacket. “I promise you’ll see him again.”

“You better keep that promise. I’m addicted to his curls and he just called me by my name.”

Even walks toward Marianne’s seat while Isak is putting his jacket and backpack on and watching the two. He hugs her from behind and kisses her on the right cheek. She keeps her head down and pats his cheek. “I’ll keep it. But you can’t love him more than you love me. I can’t accept that.”

She looks up at Even and keeps caressing his head. “I’ll try.” She smiles and arises up from her chair, spreading her arms for her giant grandson to cling to her embrace. They hug and whisper things in each other’s ears that Isak can’t hear, Isak who can’t look somewhere else while they’re having their intimate moment.

*

*

 

They are an hour early for their train and Isak keeps glaring at Even for this exact reason. “I can’t believe you would prefer to sit here and boringly wait for the train instead of letting us have our breakfast in peace.” Isak grumbles.

“Enough with those spiteful stares, Isak. You’re making me feel guilty.”

“That’s kind of my intention, Even.” Isak asserts, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “We’re not taking a plane for God’s sake.”

“It’s just an hour. I’m sure I’m great of a company that you wouldn’t even feel the time.”

“I think you should let me be the judge to that.” Isak raises his voice, still staring at Even.

Even smirks and raises his eyebrows. “So do tell. How do you find my company?”

“Nothing to flaunt, if you ask me.” Isak shrugs and lowers his head to look at his feet. “You go overboard with your teasing sometimes.”

“Your reactions are epic, that’s why.” He grips Isak’s shoulder, asking for his attention. “And deep down, you know you love it.”

Isak snaps and looks Even in the eyes. “And deep down, you know you’re full of shit.”

Even retreats his hand to put it on his chest as his mouth fell open in shock. “And here I was, thinking you were the timid type that doesn’t dare to hurt a bug.” Even shakes his head and shaking his finger at Isak. “One should never trust first impressions.”

“I swear if Jonas hears about your first impression of me he would be cracking up for days.” Isak laughs and adjusts himself on his seat.

“Who’s Jonas? Your boyfriend?” Asks Even, bending but still looking at Isak.

Isak’s face breaks into a shocked grimace. “No.” He finds it somehow hilarious (for no apparent reason) and laughs. “He’s my best friend.”

“So you’re one of those high school kids that write their names next to their friend’s name on tables or anywhere they can?” Even asks, maintaining a smirk.

“What are you saying all of a sudden?” Isak narrows his eyebrows and ducks his head, waiting for Even’s response.

“There is ‘Jonas’ written right next to ‘Isak’ on the back of your backpack.” Even winks, doing nothing to hide his amusement.

Isak’s eyes widen before they look down on his backpack that is resting in his lap. He flips it over and looks at what Even was talking about. “Damn it, Lea!” He groans and stares at the ‘Jonas <3 Isak’ written with a white-out. “My sister did this last year. I swear to God I hate her sometimes.”

“You have a sister?” Even asks, “I wish I had one.”

“Well I assure you.” Isak turns to look at Even. “You do not want to wish for a Lea.”

Even laughs and straightens his back. “It doesn’t even show that much. Don’t worry about it.”

“Well I should worry since you were able read it.” Isak is vainly trying to erase it with the hem of his jacket. “When did you see it?”

“Friday. When you brought you backpack closer to you.” Even says, nonchalantly.

Isak lifts his head and turns to look at Even with a blank face. “Friday?” he wonders. “On the train?”

Even nods and purses his lips before his eyes widen and his lips fight to stifle a laugh. “Here we go.” He says, obviously amused.

“So what was the use of that guess the name game when you already saw it?” Isak demands, lips parted and eyes narrowed.

“In my defense, there were two names. And the fact that you said no to Jonas when I guessed it didn’t confirm Isak was your name.”

“Yeah, because I’ll write a stranger’s name right next to my friend’s on my backpack.” Isak retorts, still retaining his attitude.

“You said your sister did it.”

Isak rolls his eyes and sighs. “That is not the point, Even!”

Even laughs and despite Isak’s effort to pretend to be mad, he can’t help but laugh. Even’s laugh is not only addictive, but also contagious, and even Isak’s dignity can’t win against it.

“So what are we going to do the five hours we’re spending on the train?” Even asks.

“I don’t know,” Isak shrugs and looks at Even, “sleep?”

“Sleep?” Even repeats. “Let’s not do that. Let’s do something else.”

“Like what?”

“Like watching a movie, maybe?” Even points at his backpack. “I have some movies on my laptop if you want to watch one.”

“What kind of movies?” Isak is curious.

“Mostly romantic movies.” Even says, checking his phone. “I actually wanted us to watch a movie last night but we were both tired so I didn’t say anything.”

“I would’ve said no anyway.” Isak returns, narrowing his eyes. “Romantic movies? Are you serious?”

“Yes. Damn serious. What’s wrong with them?”

“Probably nothing but I am not going to watch a romantic movie with a guy on a train.”

“So you would watch if I had another genre.”

“Probably.” Isak shrugs.

“Well I wouldn’t.” Even says, drawing Isak’s attention back at him. “I watch other genres but I’m not going to taint Valentin’s day like that.”

Isak looks at Even for a long second before grasping his point. “Oh my God.” He starts smiling. “I’m spending Valentin’s day on a train with a stranger who is into romantic movies.”

“First of all, you called me a stranger, ouch” he clutches at his chest, “second, do you have someone better to spend it with?” he asks, something incomprehensible sparkling in his eyes.

“No.” responds Isak, staying calm and composed.

“Me neither.” Says Even, still looking at Isak. “So will you be my-”

“Oh my God shut the hell up!”

*

*

 

Time passes too fast, and Isak counts every minute. Even is enthusiastically speaking next to him but Isak can’t fully concentrate on even’s words. He hears some of them and misses most of them. He registers Even’s expressions, how he moves all his limbs to tell a story, how his voice tone changes based on the feelings he’s trying to convey. He registers everything, but not perfectly. Not amusedly.

Because he fears the impending farewell. He fears reaching their common destination.

 

Getting off the train, his body has never felt heavier. He doesn’t dare to look at Even. He doesn’t lift his eyes to look anywhere other than his shoes. His shoes that were ruined back in the woods of Oppdal.

“I almost forgot this bag on the train.” Even jabs him in the side. “I can’t believe you didn’t remind me to get it.”

Isak couldn’t even notice that the train reached Oslo’s station, let along remind Even of his forgotten bag. “You’re supposed to be the adult here.” Says Isak, surprised that he can still manage to make a sound.

“You’re more familiar with trains than me.” Even grabs his phone and unlocks it.

“It’s common sense, Even.” Says Isak, sounding almost out of breath. “And I am not familiar with trains, God damn it.”

When Isak turns his head to finally look at Even, he’s met with Even handing him his phone. “What?” Isak asks.

“Can I have your phone number?” Even asks smugly before his confidence fades away in a second and he starts taking his phone back. “You don’t have to give it if you don’t want to.”

Isak reaches after the phone almost urgently and rejoices when he doesn’t drop it to the ground.

“No. it was just out of the blue that’s all.” He starts typing his phone number, trying to ignore how he winced when Sonja’s name popped up as soon as he typed the first 2 digits.

Even sighs in relief and takes the phone when Isak returns it. “You do have a phone, don’t you

Isak isn’t even sure if his old phone is reparable or if he can get a new one fast, but he nods nonetheless. He lowers his head to watch his steps as they walk towards the station’s entrance. He watches how they are walking in the same rhythm, as if it is intentional, as if they’re copying each other’s movements, but he stops in his tracks when Even’s feet stop moving. He halts and turns to look at Even who is holding the bag he almost forgot in front of him. His eyes keep travelling from Isak to the bag before he lifts it, motioning Isak to take it. “This is yours.”

Isak glances at the bag to see what’s in there. He can’t tell precisely but whatever it is, it’s red, the same color as Even’s scarf. “What’s this?” he faces Even.

“Marianne made this. I want you to have it.” Isak takes the bag and takes a scarf out of it, similar to the one Even’s wearing. He turns it back in and lifts his head to frown at Even.

“Are you giving me a red scarf on Valentin’s day?” he asks in a mischievous tone. “Right in front of people’s eyes?” he adds.

Even shrugs. “I already have one.” He points at the one he’s wearing. “No one needs two red scarfs.”

“I’m sure Marianne made this one for someone else.” Isak says, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head.

“That someone else is you, congratulations.” He smiles and claps his hands twice.

“I’m sure that someone else is your girlfriend, Even.” Says Isak, rolling his eyes and turning up his lips.

Even’s expression falls but he immediately tries to maintain a blank face. “Isak, I want you to have it.” He approaches Isak in slow small steps, eyes not leaving his face. “Marianne may have made it for Sonja but I want you to have it because-”

Even doesn’t get to finish his sentence as someone calls his name. They both turn to search for the source when a girl with a short dirty blond hair and dressed up in a white coat approaches them, eying Even with a worried expression on her face.

“I’m glad I’m on time. I was worried I’d miss you.” Says the girl before turning to look at Isak, faintly narrowing her eyes. “And you are?” she directs her question to Isak, looking down at the bag he’s holding with his hand.

Isak is still trying to process what is happening when Even saves him the confusion and he speaks up. “Why are you here, Sonja?” He sounds somehow irritated.

Sonja, his girlfriend. Isak tries to suppress whatever it is that just flinched inside him and made his surroundings seem greyer.

She turns her gaze to Even and then shrugs, getting closer to him. “I came to pick you up. I brought my dad’s car.” She lifts the keys and shakes them in front of their faces. Isak looks at the keys then back at Even, only to find him looking back.

“How did you know I was here?” Even faces her again, clearly sounding despondent that she’s here.

“Your mother told me.” She turns her attention back to Isak who is just standing there, feeling afflicted in his clothes, still not saying a word. “How do you know Even?”

Even snaps when Isak is still processing her question. “I already made plans with,” he points at Isak, “Isak.”

“Hello, Isak.” She sticks her hand out. “I’m Sonja, Even’s girlfriend.”

Isak can’t lie. His heart dropped when those words left her tongue. He shakes her hand and hopes that she doesn’t notice how his jaw clenches and his hands turn cold and sweaty at the same time. He switches his glance back to Even who is flattening his lips and looking somewhere else.

“Nice to meet you.” He says when he looks back at Sonja.

“I can take you wherever your plans are. I don’t mind.” She smiles and stretches her arm to fix Even’s hair.

“Sonja, are you serious right now?” he looks at her, raising both his voice and eyebrows.

Even doesn’t get to finish and Sonja doesn’t get to respond when Isak speaks, startling himself and both of them. “I have to go.” He declares. He knows for sure that people walking past them were startled by his raised voice too.

“What do you mean, Isak?” Even asks, furrowing his brows and stepping closer to Isak.

“I mean,” Isak clears his throat and looks at Even, “I have to meet Jonas anyway. I think you should just go with your girlfriend since she’s already here.”

“We can give you a lift.” Says Sonja, clinging to Even’s arm and smiling at Isak. “I don’t mind.”

“No it’s okay.” Isak says immediately, tearing his eyes away from Even’s heavy stares. He starts walking backwards, walking away. “We’ll talk later.” He raises his right hand and stiffly waves at them, but only Sonja waves back. Even doesn’t move when Isak’s hand drops to his side. He doesn’t do anything when Isak turns around and marches towards the station’s exit. He doesn’t scream after him when he’s totally out of his sight.

They just part like that. Terribly. Coldly.

 

.

.

 

 

February comes to an end when he agrees to meet his father for the first time since he left. It was difficult for him to pick up his calls, to listen to his excuses, to tolerate his questions, but he did it anyway. For the sake of his mother. For the sake of himself.

He wants to change now, to become a better person. He wants to stop hating himself and keeping everything bottled up inside. The first victim of all of this has always been himself, and he chooses to love himself now.

Life hasn’t been treating him ever greatly since the day he returned home after his little adventure, but he figured he couldn’t just sit, hands still, watching things happen and not trying to say anything or change anything. His mother broke into tears when she opened the door for him that Sunday. She kneeled on the floor, screaming how scared she was, how much she loved him and how she couldn’t live without him. She apologized to him, hugged him, kissed his cheeks and the back of his hands, while Isak just stood there, fighting back tears and marvelling at how much he missed his mother’s soothing touches.

And he decided he was going to take someone’s words into account, and not give up on her just yet.

Jonas’ reaction was exactly how he expected. They didn’t speak about what happened that weekend, and Jonas didn’t ask any questions. Although his eyes gave his worry and confusion away, he didn’t force Isak to reveal anything, just like the good friend he has always been.

He broke up with Sara. His mother got him a new phone. His sister cleaned his room and folded his clothes. Eva responded to his text and thanked him when he said he liked her new short hair.

Everything was falling into place. Things were getting a little bit better for him and he has started to smile genuinely again. It was all getting good. Except for one thing that has been agonizing him since that weekend.

February was coming to an end, and he hasn’t heard anything from Even yet.

 

 

March passes in a blink of an eye and he’s bidding it farewell with his family, sitting around the same table, having dinner together for the first time in a long time. The situation is pretty nerve wracking, as his parents try too hard to maintain eye contact and speak about a relevant subject that is not the weather or the upcoming US presedential elections. But Isak is not really complaining.

They’re taking the first steps. They’re trying, and he’s grateful.

His phone vibrates next to him and he reaches to it so fast, just like every time he gets a call or a text, but he gets disappointed reading who it is from, just like every time he gets a call or a text.

March is over, and it’s still not Even who is calling or texting him.

 

*

 

April is now past but he still can’t find a way to a contact Even. He has tried to search up his name in social media but had always ended up failing. He doesn’t know his full name, his school or his address, and he’s tired of waiting for him to take the initiative and reach out to him first. he runs out of thoughts as he thinks of every way that could help him get hold of him.

But he doesn’t think of the possibility of Even forgetting about him. His life is treating him relatively good lately, and he can’t afford to think that way.

 

*

 

The weather gets warmer when june finally comes around the corner. His parents have agreed on divorce but it didn’t break him as much as he expected it would. It was a matter of time, and he’s glad no unnecessary farce came out of it. He’s also glad that his mother has finally agreed to get herself diagnosed and receive a treatment. He’s proud of her, of his sister who is taking everything so well for a 14 year old girl, of himself because he’s living his life a little bit better than before.

Except that there are few things he would love to handle to fully love himself the way he truly hopes for. he still hasn’t revealed his secret to his family, to his friends, to Jonas. He still hasn’t accepted himself either. And this is still making him feel somehow empty and make his happiness uncompleted.

That, and also the fact that it’s already June, and still no news from Even.

 

*

 

Friday, 03 June. 19:20

Isak can’t lie to himself, he is not hating the rooftop party at Noora’s as he expected he would. Jonas forced him to join him, despite the fact that his girlfriend was going too. And he had nothing better to do, so he accepted.

He sees new faces at the party, like Noora’s roommates that couldn’t be the contrary of each other more. He talks with people he knows, like Eva who already seems drunk and clings to Sana who is wearing a very flamboyant yellow hijab.

He was having a good time, speaking with people and cracking jokes until he started feeling left out when Jonas began making out with his girlfriend and Eva joined the girls to dance with them, dragging Noora’s roommates with her.

So just like that, he was left alone, glancing at people dancing and chanting out loud, hoping no one would notice how he was fidgetting in his place.

He was still debating whether to join everyone and dance as well or stay still when his phone rang and saved him the absolute embarassement that his dancing would’ve caused him. He takes his phone out of his pocket, expecting to see his mother’s or  father’s number, only to find digits of a number he can’t recognize.

He doesn’t think much of it as he goes to the stairs. he anwsers his phone, saying nothing, waiting for the caller to speak first.

“Hello.” Says the caller in a weak voice, sounding hesitant and unfamiliar. It’s a woman.

“Hi.” Isak greets her, “who is this?” he asks, expecting to hear a name he doesn’t know.

“Is this Isak?” he stops bouncing on his toes when he hears his name, not knowing what this is leading to.

“Yes. This is Isak.” He clears his throat to sound more serious. “and you are?”

“I’m…” she stops, and Isak almost thinks she hang up before she speaks again. “Frida. Even’s mother.”

The faint music he was hearing completely dissolves when he hears the name. Even’s name. his mouth drops open as he stands straight, but not being able to think straight. He closes his mouth and opens it again, hoping that a word would magically come out.

“I’m sorry for disturbing you but you do know Even, don’t you?” she asks, still sounding weak.

“Yeah, I know Even.” He manages, blanking multiple times in the hope of gathering his thoughts. “Is something wrong?” he starts to worry because her tone is not comforting in the slightest.

“I don’t know much about you, Isak, except for what Even told me about how you met on the train and spent that weekend in Oppdal, but I’m sure you mean so much to him.” She stops to cough. “but I need your help, Isak.” She pleads.

Isak can’t process what she just told him, because it doesn’t make sense to him. “I don’t understand.” He simply says, hoping she would elaborate.

“Even is going through a difficult time, and” she stops again, as if she’s dreading what she’s about to say. “I think you can help him dealing with it.”

He still doesn’t understand anything she said when multiple questions invade his brain. Unable of sorting it out in his head, he speaks up. “I don’t really understand what you are saying, but Even and I aren’t really friends. I don’t know what he told you about that weekend but we haven’t spoken since then, so we’re not close. I don’t know what he is going through but I’m sure he would prefer someone else to be with him right now.” Like his girlfriend, Isak thinks. He can’t believe that he just said that to Even’s mother, in a tone that is not so friendly, not even to his ears.

It takes few seconds before Frida speaks again. “I know I’m about to sound selfish and persistent, but I wouldn’t have called if I wasn’t sure that you mean a lot to him. I’m sure you are so important to him and that it would make him feel better if you were with him now.”

“Why do you think that?” for the lack of better words, he asks that question.

“Because,” she pauses, letting out a sigh, “you are the only contact he didn’t delete from his phone.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRYYYYY
> 
> I'm sorry for ending this chapter that way, but I'm sure you have already guessed something like that would happen, right? RIGHT?  
> please don't hate me and tell me your thoughts in a comment if you'd like to leave one.
> 
> Have a great day/evening/night :*


	4. chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is chapter 4. Enjoy!
> 
> **PLEASE READ END NOTES FOR SOME CLARIFICATIONS**

Contrary to what he expected, the room wasn’t dim and didn’t smell bad. The curtains were open and the sunlight visualized most of the room’s details. The posters on the wall, the two guitars resting on the floor, the little drawings hang on the door of the closet, Isak glanced at them all before his sight eventually settled on the bed, where all he could see was the blond vagrant hairs and bare feet and nothing else.

Even was curled up under the covers. Alone. Not moving.

Contrary to what expected, Even’s mother didn’t go in with him. “I just want you to talk to him. He has been like this for almost two months now. He refuses to talk to anyone, even his girlfriend, but I can’t have him stay like this for longer.” She said to him yesterday when they met at a coffee shop near Isak’s house. When he asked her why Even would accept to speak to him if he refuses to speak to anyone else, she simply said “it’s my mother’s instinct. And I know he would love to see you.”

He couldn’t reject her demand, not when her eyes emitted desperation and hope at the same time. “Just speak to him, let him know you’re there. I’m not asking for anything more than that.” She told him after he asked for what he is supposed to do when he meets him.

The door creaks behind him, finally closing, as if it’s signaling him to move instead of staying glued to the same spot for the whole morning. He starts walking, slowly to not make any noise, firmly to indicate his presence. When he approaches the edge of the bed, he can see a glimpse of it now. Even’s face.

He keeps on getting closer, observing Even’s face that hasn’t reacted at all to his entrance. He hasn’t said a word yet, and in spite of how careful he’s been with his moves, he is sure that his presence is not something to be missed by Even, unless he’s sleeping.

But he’s not. Isak can clearly see his flattering eyelashes and how his eyes opened slightly before closing again when he blocked the sunlight. Isak figures he should say something as he can’t think of anything more adequate to do.

“Even.” He whispers, still looking down on Even’s large but small looking body. And other than the eyelashes that immediately stop trembling, he doesn’t get any response from Even. “Even, it’s me, Isak.” He tries, bending closer.

And still, no reaction from Even. He stands straight then turns to look around him, trying to find something fitting to do. And when his eyes lead their way to the drawings he spotted earlier, he starts walking towards the locker, curious as to their content. He stops right in front of the locker’s door, eyes scanning the dribbles and random photos, but he doesn’t get time to properly inspect them as he hears Even’s voice, so hoarse and so far.

And also so weak.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, so quietly that Isak could’ve missed it if he breathed. He turns his head to look at Even, only to find him in the exact same position. He walks to the bed and squats to reach Even’s level, and now he can see it.

The blue of Even’s eyes, that is not as sparkly as he remembers it was, that is shadowed by the heavy eyelids from above and the dark circles from below.

“Hey.” Isak says, perhaps too loud. “How is it going?” he mentally slaps himself, immediately regretting spouting the dumbest question to ever ask in the current situation. But it’s pointless to regret his lack of agility when Even continues to avoid his eyes. He tries to meet them but Even’s pupils remain immovable.

Isak licks his lips and lifts himself up. He draws the desk’s chair and takes a seat, right in front of Even. He intends to ask a risky question but refrains when Frida’s words echo in his head. “Please, don’t ask him what happened. Don’t ask me that question either. Just let him reveal things to you if he wanted to. Don’t push him to do or say anything. Just…talk to him.” He remembers.

“Why are you here?” Even asks, still not looking at Isak. “How?”

“I’m here because someone promised me that we would stay in contact but totally forgot about me.” He jokes. “And I have a bike. When I got here I knocked on the door and your mother let me in. that’s how I’m here.”

Even lifts his eyes to finally look at Isak. “You are here because of my mother, aren’t you?” Even demands, still not moving any part of his body.

Isak purses his lips and shrugs. “I already told you she opened the door for me, so yeah you’re right.” Isak tries to maintain the eye contact but he can’t deny how heavy Even’s stares feel on him. He wasn’t hoping for a laugh, but he can’t help but abhor Even’s reaction.

Even closes his eyes and buries half of his face against the pillow. “Just go, Isak. I don’t want you here.”

“I don’t believe that.” Isak retorts, surprising himself. “I’m not going anywhere. Your mother invited me to lunch, unfortunately for you.” He fakes a small laugh. He then gets up from the chair before turning it back to its place. Even doesn’t say anything when Isak rounds the bed. He doesn’t say anything when he sits on the edge of the bed. He only speaks when Isak lies on his back right next to him, leaving a distinct space between them.

“What are you doing?” Even asks. His voice is finally discernible.

“I’m resting here until it’s time for lunch.” Answers Isak, most casually.

“Isak, why don’t you listen to me?” Even flares, making Isak recoil from his loud voice. “Just take my advice and go away from me.”

Isak inhales sharply. “I am not going anywhere and right now I am taking your advice.”

“You’re not taking my advice. You’re still here!”

He turns to lie on his right side, looking at Even’s back, hoping he’s aware of Isak’s new position. He moves closer to Even, reaching his left hand out to scarcely put it on his shoulder, wincing at how cold it feels. “Actually, I am taking your advice, and I am not giving up on you.”

And contrary to what he expected, Even doesn’t move, and he doesn’t push him away either.

.

 

.

“I should’ve just skipped class today.” Isak says, dropping his backpack on the floor and taking off his denim jacket. He knocked on the door but didn’t wait for a response before barging in and startling Even who is still in bed. Isak relished seeing him holding a laptop instead of sleeping at this time of the day. “The teacher just kept on checking her phone but berated us whenever we made a sound.” He grabs the chair and sits, facing Even and not missing how his face has remained impassive since Isak came in. But at least, he’s looking him in the eyes today.

Even lowers his head and looks at the screen of his computer. He doesn’t take it to heart because Frida prepared him for this. He prepared himself for this. “What are you doing?” he asks, “on your laptop?” he specifies.

“Sorting my files.” Even says in a monotone voice, still having his eyes on the screen.

Isak hums. “I should do that too.” He lets out a shaky laugh. “My biology notes are still in the same file as the pictures I took last year in a school field trip.” His eyes aimlessly wander the room. “I should’ve brought my laptop and do it too. Usually I’m so lazy-”

“Why are you here again?” Even asks, forcing Isak’s sight to return to his face, his expressionless face.

Isak shrugs. “I didn’t want to go home after school.” He says, sounding almost indifferent.

Even’s tired eyes are boring at him. “You have friends.” He states.

“Jonas bailed on me and went to meet his girlfriend.” He fakes an eye roll. “Plus, you’re my friend too.” He hopes his statement would stir something in Even and make him shed the dull expression on his face.

Even looks at him. “Why didn’t you go to meet your girlfriend too?” he almost much irritated, but it doesn’t stop Isak from snorting.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” He says with a huge grin on his face. “Don’t assume things about me. You’re better than that.”

“That wasn’t me assuming.” Even tears his eyes away before closing his laptop.

“Yes it was.” Isak counters. “You don’t even know if-”

“I’m tired.” Even says before placing his laptop on the floor next to the bed and reaching for his phone.

Isak was about to protest but then he remembered Frida’s instructions. “Okay, sure. I will play on my phone a bit before I go home.” He lifts his phone up for Even to see. “Your mother gave me the WiFi’s password.” He wiggles his eyebrows at Even who just lied on his right side and put his head on the pillow. He stands up from the chair and quickly goes to lie on his back, next to Even, just like he did yesterday. "I hope you don’t mind, but.” He clears his throat, “I asked your mother for your number. I’ll be texting you, but you can choose to text back or not. You can just ignore me, but please, don’t block my number.”

“I won’t block your number.” Even says, weakly, silently.

Isak smiles, but Even can’t see it. “Good. Because if you do that I’ll have to get a new number, and I don’t want that. It took me a lot of time to finally memorize my current one.” And Isak likes to think that maybe, maybe Even cracked a little smile that he unfortunately couldn’t see.

.

 

.

 

Tuesday, 19:19

Even Oppdal

Do you want to hear something funny?

So I went to my mother’s bedroom

For a certain reason I will not divulge lol

And I found a garment bag on the bed

When I went to check what was inside

I found a suit, a dark blue suit

I said I wanted a suit last year after seeing Jonas wearing one to his cousin’s wedding

And my birthday is exactly two weeks from today

I’m a terrible actor

I have to prepare myself to pretend to be shocked when they give it to me

20:01

Did you miss me today?

 

.

 

.

 

He didn’t go to Even’s yesterday, but he was planning to do so today, except that Jonas had other plans for them that Isak couldn’t escape, mainly because he hasn’t spent much time with his best friend lately. Also, Jonas apparently broke up with his girlfriend and wanted someone to fill the void in some way. Isak didn’t protest and agreed on Jonas’ plans. His friend has always been great to him and he can’t fail him now that he needs him. But something crossed his mind. Something relatively odd, confounding him but also appeasing him.

Jonas just broke up with his girlfriend, but the only thing Isak felt about the situation was sympathy for his friend. Nothing less, nothing more.

Nothing like the depraved feeling he would’ve had a few months ago.

 

*

 

Wednesday, 17:30

Even Oppdal

My other friend stole me from you today

He just broke up with his girlfriend

They had been together for over 4 months

But he’s already talking about hooking up with this girl working in the library

He may be my friend but he’s being an ass right now

18:10

Maybe that’s just his way of coping with the break-up

He speaks!

But hey!

You responded when I talked about my friend

But didn’t when I ranted about my sister yesterday

22:13

Good night

I’ll come by tomorrow

 

.

 

.

 

Even is sitting on his desk and having a banana when Isak arrives. He tries to stifle a smile and appear casual, as if the fact of seeing Even eating a fruit didn’t just warm his heart a bit. “Great. Now the room smells of banana. I hate its smell.” Isak says, making Even turn to look at him while he’s busy searching for his phone in his backpack.

Even tosses the peel in the bin next to his desk and then goes to his bed, not minding Isak’s presence. Isak doesn’t waste time either and goes to the bed too. He sits in what he likes to think of as his regular spot and rests his head on the headboard. He turns his gaze to Even who is looking at him with a scowl upon his face. “I don’t feel like talking.” Evan says before lifting his eyes to stare at the ceiling.

“No one is forcing you to.” Isak responds.

“No one is forcing you to come here and stay either.” Even closes his eyes and Isak can see how his eyelids are twitching.

“No Even. I’m here because I want-”

“You’re here because my mother asked you to be here.” Even yells in the loudest voice Isak has ever heard coming from him. “You’re here because my mother was desperate and you couldn’t say no to her request. You’re here because you pity me, not because you want to spend time with me.” He quickly turns to lie on his right side. “No one deliberately wants to spend time with the desperate fucked up kid.”

Isak feels anger boiling inside him, not because he’s irritated with Even, but because Even thinks this way. “No one spends time with you because you push them away, not because they don’t want to.”

“I just want to be alone, Isak. Please!” He pleads, feebly.

“No you don’t.” Isak says in a temperate voice. “I’m not going anywhere and I do want to be here.”

“You don’t.” Even says. “It doesn’t make sense. A week ago you didn’t even know where I lived or how my mother looked like, and now you’re telling me you’re okay with spending time with me?”

“And whose fault is that?” Isak sits himself up and looks down, trying to glimpse at his face. “Whose fault is it that I didn’t know your address or your school or even your phone number?” he asks sharply.

Even remains silent. He lets out a shaky breath and pulls the blanket over his head. Isak swings his legs over the bed before standing up. He turns around the bed and then crouches to look right at Even’s face.

“I don’t want you to give me any excuses now. But just understand that the reason I didn’t know anything about you was because you didn’t let me, not because I didn’t want to.” He keeps on watching Even’s face, hoping he would open his eyes.

And he earns what he hoped for. Even opens his eyes and looks at Isak. “It’s not that I didn’t want to. I just had my reasons.” Even sounds calm now.

“Whatever they were, they must’ve been stupid.”

Even blinks and the corner of his mouth twitches. He lifts his eyes to look at Isak briefly then lowers them again. He opens his mouth and closes it again, as if he’s preparing himself to say something.

“If you want to say something just do-”

“What did my mother tell you?” he cuts Isak off, still not meeting his gaze.

“Besides the address, your phone number and how you’re obsessed with your hair, nothing much.” He jokes, carefully observing Even’s unchanging expression. Luckily, Even doesn’t frown, but he doesn’t smile either. His face remains dull when he speaks again. “Did she tell you why I’m like this?”

Isak shakes his head. “No. I just concluded it myself.” Isak questions his words when Even’s eyes spring open.

“You concluded it?” his voice breaks. Isak is afraid of what is about to happen next. He wonders whether to change the subject or just deliver what he has to say. But judging from Even’s reaction, he goes for the latter choice.

“You’re having a depressive episode, I think.” He says, and his heart breaks when he looks at Even and sees his watery eyes and rosy nose. “I’m sorry.” He says before sticking his hand to fondle Even’s right cheek.

Even doesn’t shed tears but he closes his eyes. His eyelashes tickle Isak’s thumb. “You know nothing then.” Even says before completely disappearing under the blanket.

And in that moment, away from Even’s sight, away from everyone’s sight, Isak sheds his first tear in a long time.

*

23:15

Even Oppdal

I just got home

I actually got home 20 minutes ago

But my mother scolded me for 20 minutes

I’m turning 17 soon and I still get scolded when I don’t respect my curfew

Which is like 22

Seriously?

It’s almost summer and the night doesn’t start until then

It’s a school night

If you want to take sides take mine

Oh wait

You’re nineteen

Of course you’ll take her side

Old people supporting old people

Go to sleep Isak

Good night

Good night

See you tomorrow

Yeah, see you tomorrow

 

.

 

.

 

The air is different when he enters Even’s room today. Maybe because it’s a Friday night, or maybe because school is over very soon and summer is showing its signs, but definitely because Even met his eyes as soon as he opened the door.

“Hello.” Isak greets in a high-pitched voice before dropping his backpack to the floor.

“Hi” Even reciprocates, a hint of a smile on his lips. He puts the little green notebook he was sketching in on the nightstand and sits cross-legged on the bed. “You’re sweating.”

Isak wipes his hand across his neck. “It’s hot outside.”

“You’re sure you didn’t run here? It’s only 16 now.” Even says, and Isak can swear he saw a smirk.

Isak rolls his eyes. “I told you I have a bike.”

“I guess you pedaled fast then.” He fully smirks now and Isak fights the urge to burst into fireworks right here and right now.

“It’s an exercise for the thighs so,” he shrugs and heads to sit on the desk “I did myself a favor.”

Even laughs and although it doesn’t sound as clear as Isak would wish for, he’s satisfied for now. “Are you hungry?” Even asks before getting up from the bed. “My mom made some hazelnut tarts for us.”

Isak tried to refrain from raising his brows or stupidly blinking but couldn’t, as not only did Even offer him food, but he’s also intending on getting out of his room and bringing it for them.

“Sure.” Isak isn’t even a fan of tarts but no other word could leave his mouth at the moment. Even nods and proceeds to execute his mission, leaving Isak pleasantly shocked. He smiles to himself and stands to approach the bed, eyes on the little green sketchbook Even was holding. He reaches his left arm out to take it in his hands but gets interrupted by Even’s phone vibrating right next to it. He couldn’t avoid reading the text that was on display from an unregistered number.

“ _I miss you, and I know you miss me too. Let’s meet. Please! I love you. Sonja._ ”

He doesn’t get time to interpret it or feel anything about it when he hears Even’s steps. He walks backwards, awkwardly leaning on the wall between the desk and the nightstand.

“You got a text.”  Isak says as soon as Even is in the room.

Even puts the plate on the desk and grabs his phone. He bites his lower lip as his pupils move from left to right, reading the text. He locks the phone and glances at Isak. “I forgot the milk. I’ll go get it fast.” He tosses the phone on the bed and leaves the room.

And Isak just…waits for him.

 

*

 

-20:30

“So he just died?” Isak frowns and shakes his head. “They really didn’t have to kill him off.”

“It actually makes sense that he died at the end.” Even says, placing the laptop on the nightstand before facing Isak again. “It would’ve been futile if he lived.”

“No. he’s only dead because they wanted the audience to praise how tragic and touching the ending was.”

“Technically, the ending wasn’t tragic.” Says Even, motioning with his hands. “The book was restored and Eli’s ultimate goal was fulfilled-”

“Still!” Isak protests. “The story would’ve made sense even if he stayed alive.”

“Did you hate the movie, Isak?” Even asks, leaning closer.

“No, but I didn’t like the ending.”

“Well you chose the movie so blame yourself if anything.”

It’s true. It was Isak who picked the Book of Eli when Even told him to suggest a movie. He wasn’t so keen on watching it, but Jonas once told him he liked it and he kind of wanted to impress Even by not picking an action movie. “It wasn’t bad. I don’t regret choosing it.”

“Honestly I was expecting some star wars or some new action movie from you, not a 2010 dark movie.”

“Excuse me but you were the one who wanted to watch a movie from the nineties?” Isak lifts one eyebrow.

Even laughs and the corners of his eyes wrinkle, sending warmth to Isak’s heart and making him feel grateful for his folly. “I never said I only liked new movies about racing and spaceships and nonexistent storylines. You did.”

“Are you ridiculing me right now?” Isak asks, crossing his arms and raising a challenging eyebrow.

“Maybe.” Even pouts and shrugs.

Isak exhales and gets up. He walks to pick his backpack up. “I have to go. Thanks for absolutely nothing.”

“What about the tarts? And my bed? And the napkin I gave you when you started crying?

“Your mother made the tarts and you took all the bed and left me on the edge and I did not cry!” retorts Isak, faking exasperation.

Even laughs and leaves his bed. He takes a few steps closer to Isak and the latter doesn’t know where to direct his eyes. Even faces Isak and instead of looking into his eyes, he’s looking above them.

“My grandmother’s heart will definitely break, but short hair looks so good on you.”

 

.

 

.

Saturday, 11:03

Even Oppdal

So I spoke to Jonas about the book of Eli

And when I told him how I didn’t like how Denzel died

He was shocked!

He didn’t know he died because he didn’t finish the movie

I would love to say I’m shocked but somehow I’m not

Eli died, not Denzel

Are you serious?

I promise

Denzel is still alive and probably doing well

…

Anyways

He shouldn’t have hyped the movie up if he didn’t even finish it.

Are you like this after every movie you watch?

Like this?

How?

Mad, grumpy, whiny, judgmental…

I’m not any of these right now

You do sound like it

I mean I can go on and on about a movie after I watch it

I’m a movie nerd

But you’re not

You’re a biology nerd

No I’m not

Yes you are

You had two exam papers with 6 in your backpack in Oppdal

And you didn’t want to sit on your biology textbook when you wanted to rest in the forest

That doesn’t indicate I’m a biology nerd

Maybe,

But it does indicate you’re a nerd

Well I’m sorry I’m a nerd then

I’m sorry too

…

Good morning Isak :-)

 

.

 

.

 

It’s Sunday afternoon and Even agrees to meet Isak in a Kaffebrenneriet next his house. Isak is busy slurping the caramel macchiato that he pretty much regrets ordering when the sound of a camera clicks. Isak looks up to see Even holding his phone up and grinning at the screen. “What are you doing?” asks Isak, amusedly wrinkling his brows.

“You really have to see your face.” Even laughs and continues to look at his phone. “You look disgusted but trying not to look disgusted.”

Isak scratches his throat. “This is too sweet.” He takes another sip. “How do people like this?”

“Don’t finish it then. Why are you forcing yourself to drink it?”

“I paid for this.” He takes another large sip and puts the cup on the table. “I’m not going anywhere until I finish it.”

“You are being stingy.” Even maintains his grin.

“I’m being a high school kid.” And with that Isak finally finishes his drink. He looks up to meet Even’s eyes only to find them not looking back. Even is lowering his eyes and looking at his black coffee _. Did Isak say something wrong?_

Maybe he did. He remembers what Frida told him the other day. “He hasn’t gone to school since mid-March and I think he’s going to have to retake the year.” He immediately regrets mentioning school and reckons it’s the reason for Even’s dismal face.

Even’s phone starts ringing. Isak glances at it and can tell that the call is from an unknown number. His glance shifts to Even who is also looking at his phone. He silences it and turns it over.

“You can take that.” Isak suggests. “I don’t mind.”

Even looks up. “I do.” He puts his phone is his pocket.

Even’s smiley face has already faded so Isak figures he should just ask what he has been curious about for a long time now. “You do know who’s calling, don’t you?”

Even freezes. “It’s an unknown number.” He turns his head, clearly avoiding Isak’s eyes.

“Yeah, but you know whose number was that.” Isak says, not wandering from his initial intention.

Even slowly turns his gaze back to Isak, and his expression is far from being soft. “I just didn’t want to answer, Isak. Do I have to make excuses for that?”

“I’m sure you already have them lined up in your mind.” Isak retorts.

Even looks turn into glares. “You know nothing, Isak. So please don’t judge me.”

“Yeah, I know nothing. But what I know for sure is how you’ve been receiving phone calls repeatedly since last Monday but you never answer.” Isak is sure his loud voice is disturbing people around him. He doesn’t care about that now. “And I’m sure I have seen more than just one number.”

“They’re all numbers I don’t know. And just like I didn’t answer back in Monday, I didn’t answer again.” Even sounds too calm and it’s playing with Isak’s nerves.

“Your mother told me you deleted all phone numbers from your phone.” Isak states, waiting for Even to say something.

“Yeah I did.” Even says, “Do you want to know why?”

“I want to know why you didn’t delete mine.” Isak leans back in his chair, hoping Even wouldn’t lead this conversation to a road neither of them wants to visit. “And don’t act surprised, you already know I know that.”

Even breathes in and out. “I don’t know.” He lowers his head.

“It’s funny because you never contacted me anyway.” Isak narrows his eyebrows and keeps looking at Even.

“I told you I had my reasons for that.” Answers Even, lifting his head.

“Let’s hear them out now.” Isak challenges, pulling his chair closer under the table.

Even looks at him. “At first, I just wanted some time to change. But then, I just didn’t want to give myself a false hope.” He maintains his stare.

Isak wrinkles his brows. “This makes no sense.”

“To you, maybe. It did to me.” Says Even. “I was just afraid I misinterpreted everything and that we would both regret it if I ever really contacted you.”

“You continue on confusing me, Even.” Isak rubs his forehead and shakes his head. “I told you to give me reasons not a headache.”

Even smiles and lowers his head, and that is all what Isak gets for now. He wants to ask more questions but decides against it when his own phone starts ringing, Eva’s name on the screen.

“Hey.” He picks it up.

“Hey Isak.” Responds Eva. “Listen I’m in a hurry but Noora told me that she’s leaving the kollektivet, so they have a vacant room there. I just wanted to let you know if you’re still interested.”

“Oh okay, I’ll think about that. Thanks.” He says and with that Eva hangs up.

“Eva.” Says Even. “I like this name. Your girlfriend?”

Isak snorts. “I already told you I don’t have one.”

“You know,” Even starts, “I saw you once, after that weekend I mean.” Isak’s unconsciously raise his eyebrows. “You were at a tram station, but you weren’t alone. A girl was with you. She was facing you and her arms were around your neck. She was kissing you.” Isak is trying to refresh his memory. He succeeds and remembers the day he and Sara had their last date when he finally had the guts to end it all with her. He opens his mouth in an attempt to speak but Even beats him to it.

“That was your girlfriend, right?” Even asks.

Isak nods.

Even nods too. “So I thought.”

 

.

 

.

 

Monday, 18:11

Even Oppdal

Hey

In for a movie?

18:53

Isak?

19:40

…

20:39

Hi

Sorry my phone’s battery died

Everything’s okay?

Yeah

I just was visiting the kollektivet I told you about

Oh

And?

And my phone died

I meant your decision

I still don’t know

The room is good, and I like the apartment

There is this guy, Eskild. He lives there

He bribed us with bear so he could keep talking and talking about a lot of things

I almost remember nothing from what he said

Who’s us?

Me and Jonas

He went with me

Isak <3 Jonas

You still remember that?

Ugh…

Anyway

Do you want to watch a movie?

I’m really exhausted now

And I want to take a shower

Tomorrow?

Yeah sure

 

.

 

.

 

Tuesday, 19:19

Even Oppdal

I’m not watching Romeo+Juliet

No way

Oh come on!

You promised

I don’t want to watch it

I don’t want to watch Narcos either

If anything I’m the victim in this deal

I have to watch 10 episodes while you only have to watch a movie

A movie that I already know how it’s going to end

You’re not going to regret it.

Fine!

I’m going to quiz you on it

Whatever!

Shut up and let me get this over with

21:21

You cried didn’t you?

No

I’m sure you did

So how was it?

Just like I expected

Tragic

And very pretentious

I’m sure you can say more than that

Excuse me but I’m not a movie nerd

I’m not supposed to analyze movies

That sounds familiar

I bet it does

So how about you

You watched the first episode?

No

!!!

You were supposed to start watching today

I didn’t say I was going to watch it

I never agreed to it

Yes you did!

Even!

No, I didn’t

But you

You said you were going to watch R+J

Are you serious right now?

Yes

But hey

If it makes you feel better

I watched R+J when you were watching it

We probably cried at the same time

I didn’t cry!

But I might start crying now

You betrayed me

Oh no don’t cry

The last thing I want is you crying because of me

Then stop betraying me like this

And stop teasing me

I can’t

It’s fun to you?

Your reactions? Very

I hate you

No you don’t

I might start hating you now

I won’t let you

I’ll do anything

Except watching Narcos of course

Goodbye Even!

 

.

 

.

 

“Bakka?” Isak demands, gaping at Even. “You’re a Bakka kid?” Isak is sitting on the desk, flailing his legs and facing Even who is busy folding his clothes on the bed.

“Was.” Even corrects, raising a finger. “What’s with that reaction?”

“Actually, many things make sense now.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Even crosses his arms, waiting for Isak to elaborate.

“I don’t know,” Isak shrugs “You’re just the typical Bakka kid.”

“Well Bakka is a past. I’m a Nissen kid now.” Even smirks.

Isak’s legs stop moving. “What?”

“I’m repeating my third year there, if you don’t mind.” He winks and lowers his eyes to finish his task.

Isak lets out a small laugh. “Why Nissen?”

“It’s not because you go there, don’t worry.” Even responds, getting off the bed with his folded clothes in his hands.

“No, what I meant,” Isak stops, rehearsing his next question, “why not Bakka?”

Even stops in front of his closet. He opens the doors and starts placing his clothes, slowly, not looking at Isak. “I can’t go back there.” He offers, clearly not prepared to say more.

“Okay.” Speaks Isak. “I’m not forcing to say anything now but if you ever want to talk about it I can-”

“I missed up,” Even stands in front of his closet, arms resting on his sides, looking ahead and nowhere else. “I wouldn’t be able to handle people’s pity and whispers if I ever returned there. I know my mother didn’t tell you much and that you missed a huge part in your guess but, you would understand if you knew.” He grabs a towel and turns around.

“Okay.” Isak whispers, feeling guilty for no apparent reason.

“I’ll wash my face and be right back.” He glances at Isak before heading to the washroom. Isak nods and watches the door as it creaks shut. When he’s left alone in the room, Even’s phone that he left on the bed starts vibrating and Isak looks at it, not feeling surprised when he sees nothing but a series of unknown digits. Digits that has become very familiar with lately.

And in that moment, he thinks of an idea and feels ready to handle the consequences.

 

.

 

.

 

Friday, 20:16

Even Oppdal

Plans for tonight?

Dining out with my folks

You?

Omg you’re lame

And old

There’s a party some second year from Nissen is throwing

If you want to come

I mean you’re a Nissen kid now

I’m not a Nissen kid yet

And no I already made a promise

Also, parties aren’t really good for me now

Yeah sure

I was just being a good friend

Oh so we’re friends now

…

Nah we’re just train buddies

Remember?

We’re still in that phase?

It’s been 4 months

You shouldn’t be the one saying this

Train bud

Just kidding

We’re friends

For now…

Excuse me?

I hope you’re about to say some silly line to make up for this

No

You never know what the future holds for us

Well I know what the near future holds for me so

Good bye loser

Got a party to attend

Have fun                                                                                                                      

<3

 

.

 

.

 

Saturday, 10:45

Maybe what he’s about to do is wrong. Maybe he’s crossing the line and putting his nose where it doesn’t belong. But maybe, what he’s planning to do is the right thing a good friend should do.

He can’t just sit with his arms crossed, waiting for the universe to do something and make his friend feel better. The universe doesn’t work like that. Life hasn’t been treating him like that. Life doesn’t treat anyone like that.

Also, he can’t be selfish and hope for something he’s not sure of. They’re friends, perhaps something less, but definitely nothing more, and he shouldn’t let any signs fool him.

Maybe they’re not even signs. Maybe it’s just his wishful thinking.

A lot of “maybes”. A lot of questions. A lot of fears.

He likes Even, he knows it now for sure. But no one else knows. No one else should.

He does hesitate. He twirls his phone with his fingers, thinking over and over, practicing what he is going to say.

He unlocks his phone. He goes to his list of contacts. He clicks on one. He calls.

It’s ringing.

He waits.

He almost wants to hang up.

But he waits.

There is a response.

“Hello?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who do you think Isak called?  
> Tell me your guesses and thoughts in a comment if you'd like to leave one.  
> But first, I need to explain a few things:
> 
>  
> 
> 1-I just want to confirm that Even was having a depressive episode when Isak met him again in this chapter, just in case it wasn't clear for some reason.  
> 2-I'm sure you have already guessed what happened. Yes, you are correct. Even had a manic episode and did things that came haunting him, but that's it, nothing more. He didn't try to do anything to himself (I hope you're understanding this point. If you don't, I'll gladly explain it more in a comment). I don't want to spoil things but I felt the obligation to point this out for you.  
> 3-I don't know if I made it look like Isak was the main reason Even got out of his depressive episode, but it's not the case. It doesn't work like that. Certainly, Isak's presence was helpful, but let's not forget that Even is a strong soul that deserves nothing but love and appreciation. Bless him!
> 
> And bless you too :* Have a good day/evening/night <3


	5. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 is here! Enjoy :*

 

Saturday, 20:20

To be truthful to himself, he does regret it.

It didn’t go as bad as he expected. It went worse. His chest wouldn’t stop hurting and he couldn’t respond to his mother when he came back home.

His throat is clogged. The sounds are vague. His room looks smaller. His bed feels cold.

He feels like he didn’t just help his friend, but deceived him instead.

He understands everything now. The words that didn’t make sense, the worried looks of a mother, the drab blue eyes, the unexplained absence. All the pieces are gathered to make a clear image in his mind now.

His friend just broke his promise, and made him cry.

 

*

 

Saturday, 21:00

Even Oppdal

How is the last weekend as a first year going?

Slow, normal

I thought you’d be celebrating now

Plenty of time to do that in the future

Everything’s okay?

Yeah

All is good

Okay

You’re home?

Yeah

You?

I’m home too

So,

Your birthday is coming up?

Yeah

Next Tuesday

You’re not celebrating it?

I think I’ll be having a small party at home

My mother and sister are visiting my aunt

So I have the house for my own

They’re leaving you on your birthday?

Haha

That’s kind of my mother’s additional birthday gift for me

She never sleeps at my aunt’s

Oh cool

So, a party you said?

I’ll just have some friends from school over

To have some cake

Dance

Have minimum booze

Nothing big

Sounds good

You want to come?

I’m not a friend from school though

You’re soon to be one

We don’t know that

…

Anyway!!

You want to come?

Maybe

It would be awkward

Not for me but for your friends

You really don’t have to worry about that

They’re cool

Once they’re tipsy they really don’t care about who’s around

Eva may even hit on you

I can’t drink

Then don’t

You can have some cake

It’s really up to you

Okay

I may come

C00l

You want to hang tomorrow?

Sure

What should we do?

Can we meet in Kaffebrenneriet?

At 16:00?

Okay

Caramel macchiato?

Oh God no!

The taste is still haunting me

Haha

See you

I have to iron what I’m going to wear tomorrow for our date

…

Yeah sure

You do that.

<3 <3

:D

 

.

 

.

 

Sunday, 16:07. Kaffebrenneriet.

He spots Even as soon as he enters the shop, wearing his usual gelled hair and a grey and black flannel on top of a white shirt. He looks good but Isak can’t stand and gawk at him for longer. He walks towards the table, a smile on his face but erratic pounds in his heart.

“Hi!” he sits across from Even and waves at him. The wave was unnecessary but also unplanned for.

Even responds with a soft smile. “Hey!” he sounds lively _. This is not good_ , Isak thinks to himself. His palms are sweaty and firmly glued together under the table, away from Even’s eyes. He spins his head to look around the shop, as if it’s his first time seeing the interior. His gaze doesn’t return to Even until the latter speaks up.

“What do you want to order? I already took tea.” Even asks, getting up from the chair.

Isak motions him to sit. “No I’m not having anything.”

Even frowns and tilts his head. “Why? I’ll pay.” He says, still staring at Isak. He lifts his head up to look at the menu and starts suggesting drinks to Isak.

Isak doesn’t pick up anything of what Even was saying because he just heard the door open. He braced himself for what’s going to happen next.

She’s here. He’s not facing the entrance but he can feel it. It’s her.

“Hi!” says a high pitched voice, and Isak lifts his eyes to look at Even first.

Even who looks like he just saw a ghost.

He turns his glance to the girl. To Sonja. “Hello.” He says, before offering his sweaty hand to greet her.

“Hi Isak.” She smiles and then turns to look at Even. Isak does the same.

Even is glaring at Isak. Something he has never seen. Something he has never wished for.

He lowers his head, pulls the chair and stands up. “I have something to do so,” he says, dodging Even’s glares but still feeling them boring at him, burning his face. He motions Sonja to take his seat and when she sits he looks down on her.

“Thank you.” She whispers before turning to look at Even. Isak nods and licks his lips. He can’t avoid it now, he has to look at Even.

Their eyes meet, and Even’s expression is oddly familiar to Isak. He once gave him a similar one, right when he left him with Sonja at the train station five months ago.

Almost the same scenario, except that now, he’s leaving them in a coffee shop.

Except that now, it feels a whole lot worse.

.

 

.

 

Sunday, 22:00

Even Oppdal

Hi

You’re home?

.

.

 

Monday, 07:51

Even Oppdal

Good morning

It’s my last Monday as a first year

12:28

It’s extremely hot today

You’re home?

16:09

You’re not answering my calls

I hope everything is okay

19:15

Are you coming to my birthday tomorrow?

23:12

I’m so sorry

Good night

01:58

You’re so stupid Isak

 

.

 

.

 

Tuesday, 21 June, 20:00

He unfolds his legs when he feels them going numb. He has been sitting on the floor for twenty minutes, surrounded by his tipsy friends that decided they wanted to form a circle and reminisce on the events of the passing school year.

He can’t blame them. Tomorrow is the last day of school, and everyone is in a good mood, but it’s his birthday, and he is not in the mood for stories, jokes or even basic celebration.

He just wants to hear the stupid birthday song, cut the cake, have some and then go to sleep early.

“Yo buddy.” Jonas snaps his fingers in front of his face, bringing him back to reality.

“What?” he deadpans.

“We want to play ‘never have I ever’, you’re in?” asks Magnus, the new friend Jonas introduced to Isak a few weeks ago.

Isa rolls his eyes. “You’re just trying to make my birthday even duller than it already is.”

“Dull? I’m having a good time.” Shouts Eva, raising her beer.

“So?” Jonas asks, “Let’s start?”

Isak shrugs and aimlessly flails his arms. “Sure, whatever.”

And just when he’s about to fold his legs again, the doorbell rings. He lifts his head, so fast and so forceful that he could’ve broken his neck. Everyone is looking at him, eyes widened and eyebrows raised.

“You’re expecting someone?”

“You said your family won’t be coming home tonight?”

“Maybe it’s the neighbors?”

“The music isn’t even that loud.”

Isak can’t even tell who says what. He stands, careless to his numb legs, and turns to go answer the door.

It can’t be.

He stands in front of the closed door.

Maybe it’s his wishful thinking fooling him again.

His hand is on the doorknob.

It’s not impossible, right?

He opens the door.

And yeah, it’s not impossible, it’s not wishful thinking, it can be.

It’s Even, who has his hands in his pockets and is chewing a gum. He’s wearing a tight simple white short-sleeved shirt with nothing on top of it, which perfectly traces his lanky upper body. His hair is perfect as always, but looks shinier, more refined, as if he put more effort into it today.

But the most captivating but also shocking thing is his smile. He’s smiling, or maybe smirking, Isak is too dazed to tell the difference.

“Hi” says Even, slightly tilting his head.

“Hello.” Responds Isak, still stunned.

“You are not going to let me in?” Even demands, looking past Isak.

Isak raises his arm and scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah. Come in.” he moves to let Even walk in. Even who passes so close to him that Isak has to lift his head to look at him. He can can smell his perfume.

He also smells good.

Even motions him to march before him so as to introduce him to his friends. Isak bounces back from his daze, or at least tries to, and starts walking.

And apparently, he’s not the only one to be stunned by Even today.

His friends are all gaping at Even, studying him from head to toe, eyes wide and faces confused.

“Hello.” Even says when Isak is taking so long to reset himself. “I’m Even.” He waves.

“Hi” they all say unanimously. Isak feels a nudge on his side and turns to see Even raising his eyebrows at him.

Isak takes the hint and opens his mouth. “Guys this is Even. A friend I met a few months ago.”

Even waves again. “Hello.” He greets again, playfully, almost seductively.

“You’re friends with a hottie like that and you never bothered to introduce him to us?” Eva says, staring at Even, maybe even drooling.

“We were pretty exclusive, but I think that is going to change tonight.” Jokes Even, smiling, flexing his arms.

“Get yourself a beer and sit, we’re playing never have I ever.” Says the overly excited Eva.

“I love that game.” Even says, turning to look at Isak. “Where are you sitting?” he asks him.

Isak points to where he was sitting before, and Even wastes no time and walks to sit in the spot Isak pointed at, leaving space next to him for Isak. “I’ll sit next to Isak if you all don’t mind.”

Isak joins him, brushing his arm against Even’s, unintentionally, and his thigh against Even’s, unintentionally again.

“Even.” Says Mahdi, “Since you’re the last to arrive, you go first.”

Even nods. “I don’t mind.”

Everyone raises their beers, waiting for Even to speak. Isak is not looking at Even.

“Never have I ever liked someone here.” Says Even and everyone snorts.

“That’s a lame one dude.” Says Jonas and drinks. Isak drinks as well and he can see how everyone does the same, except for Magnus and Mahdi who look lost. He looks from the corner of his eyes to see Even, who is also drinking. His eyes widen and glare at Even, who doesn’t turn to look back.

“Oooooh.” Squeals Eva. “Dude you only know Isak in this room. Does that mean you like Isak?” she giggles.

“I’ve been here for fifteen minutes, people can fall in love in seconds.”

Eva and Vilde holler while the guys roll their eyes. “Duuuuude.” Mahdi screams, shaking his head.

Even shrugs. “It’s Isak’s turn now.” He turns to look at him, eyes beaming something that causes Isak’s insides to churn.

Isak coughs. “Never have I ever,” he halts to think, “Kept a big secret from my best friend.” Well maybe he didn’t think at all. He takes a big sip, but unexpectedly, everyone else does the same.

“Bunch of traitors.” Says Mahdi, causing everyone to laugh. Isak didn’t laugh though, too busy analyzing the situation he is in the middle of now.

Even is here. He’s smiling, he’s interacting with his friends, he’s drinking beer, nothing adds up, and Isak’s nerves and thoughts can’t settle.

The game continues, and so do Isak’s confusion and Even’s constant laughs.

“Never have I ever had a non-protected sex.” Says Mahdi.

Isak doesn’t drink. Even doesn’t drink either.

Isak can’t tell what the others did.

“Never have I ever kicked someone in the balls.” Says Magnus.

Even doesn’t move. Isak doesn’t either.

“Never have I ever kissed someone from the same sex.” Says Eva.

Isak doesn’t drink. Even drinks.

“Never have I ever stolen something.” Says Vilde.

Isak drinks. Even doesn’t.

“Never have I ever fallen in love at first sight.” Says David.

Isak and Even both drink.

And the lights go out.

Everyone starts chanting the birthday song. Jonas that excused himself to answer a phone call appears with a cake in his hands. Isak pretends to be bothered by the attention but blows the candles anyway. The lights are back on and Eva and Vilde take turns to kiss him on the cheeks, wishing him a happy birthday. He smiles at them and then looks at the cake that it’s being taken away by Magnus to be put on the dining table. Isak wants to follow them but when he doesn’t see Even, he turns around.

And he’s right there, so close to him, looking down on him. ‘Happy birthday, Isak.”

He kisses him on the cheek.

And Even’s smirk is that last thing he sees before he gets hit with cake in his face.

 

*

 

22:05

Isak returns to his friends after finishing his quick shower, but the smell of eggs and chocolate is still stuck in his nostrils. The mess they made earlier is cleaned, but Isak is sure he has to review everything and do something about the scent before his mother returns home and scolds him for failing her trust.

He’s in the living room and Vilde is struggling with a drunk Eva who is playing with her hair. The boys are all getting their stuff, ready to go home to get cleaned as well. And Even…

Well Even is just leaning on the wall, looking right through Isak’s soul, as if he has been waiting for him for a while.

He lowers his head and approaches his friends.

“Happy birthday bro.” says Jonas, giving Isak a hug. “We have to go now and get Eva and Vilde home.”

Isak smiles and nods. Everyone gets ready to leave, making non undeciphered noise while making it to the doorway.

But Even doesn’t move from his spot, and the only one who notices that is Isak as the others are busy opening the door.

The door is closed. His friends are gone. He keeps on staring at the doorway. He knows he can’t keep on being petrified so he turns around, hoping he would magically know what to do or say.

Unfortunately, magic fails him, and he finds himself looking at Even, mind blank and body frozen.

“You were right.” Even says as he moves to approach Isak. “Your friends are cool.”

Isak lets out a shaky forced laugh and traces his eyebrows. “I told…I already said they were cool. I think they really liked you.” He stutters, and when he lifts his head, Even is closer than he was seconds ago.

“Yeah. But I kind of felt left out.” Even leans on the dining table, still attacking Isak with the intense glare. “They spared me in the cake fight.”

“Probably because of the hair.” Says Isak, surprising himself with his quick response, but still avoiding Even’s eyes.

Even laughs. “Yeah. Maybe it’s the hair.” He stares at Isak while he’s licking his mouth, as if he wants to say something, as if he wants Isak to say something.

 _Why are you here? “_ Did you find the house easily?” Isak asks instead.

Even nods. Isak nods too.

 _Why aren’t you leaving?_ “You don’t want to go home?” asks Isak, trying to be composed.

Even smirks and closes his eyes. He stands straight. “Your friends may have cleaned the living room, but the kitchen is still a mess.” He doesn’t wait for Isak’s response and walks to the kitchen.

Isak gives himself a moment to hopelessly gather his thoughts and panic on the inside before following Even to the kitchen.

His skin feels tighter on his bones and his lungs feel bigger inside his ribs. _What is going on?_

Even is already emptying the cans and bottles when Isak joins him in the kitchen. He takes small steps, careful steps towards the sink and starts putting the dirty dishes in the sink, not turning to look at Even.

“So Eva did try to flirt with me.” Says Even, breaking the silence and Isak’s nonexistent composure.

Isak laughs. “I warned you.”

“Yeah but she was drunk, so that doesn’t count.”

“She would’ve hit on you even if she was sober. I mean, look at you.” The last dish lands safely in the sink and doesn’t smash but something inside Isak does. His blood turns cold. His ears turn hot. His throat turns dry. His whole body turns petrified.

_Did he really just say that?_

Even snorts. “Thanks. I put an extra effort since it’s your birthday.”

“Were you planning on stealing my friends?” he jokes, hoping his nervousness went unnoticed.

“I mean you already stole my grandmother and parents from me so.” He pokes him on the shoulder and Isak finally dares to take a look.

But regrets it immediately. Even’s eyes sparkle illogically under the dim light in the kitchen. Isak is just being tortured.

“Wait until I get my curls back. I’ll steal even your girlfriend.” Isak says, but immediately adds it to the list of things he regrets and deserves to be sent to another planet for.

He looks at Even, who just shrugs and dries his hands with the cloth he took from the little hanger on the wall. “You can’t steal something I don’t have from me.” He puts the cloth on the counter and focuses on Isak.

Isak feels small and confused and cornered and lost. “What about Sonja?” he asks, giving up on any chance of controlling his choice of words at the moment.

“We’re friends now.” Even steps closer to Isak.

“Does she know that?” Isak keeps on staring at Even’s eyes.

“Yes. She’s sure of it.” He slides closer.

“You talked everything through?” Isak doesn’t even think of his questions before letting them out now.

“Yes.” A step closer. “I even told her about you.” He stops because if he takes another step he’ll be standing on Isak’s shoes.

“Me?” Isak frowns. “What did you tell her about me?”

“I told her how you’re one of the reasons I can’t be with her anymore.” Even says, slowly bending his head forward.

Isak’s eyes widen. “How is that?” He demands.

Even tilts his head. Their faces are so close now. “You’re not stupid Isak.”

“No I’m not.” Isak feels Even’s breath on his cheeks. “But I’m not sure either.”

“Of what?” Even whispers, and Isak can feel Even’s hand on his waist.

“Why aren’t you mad at me?” He asks, boldly for someone as wrecked as him for the moment.

“I am mad at you.” His hand is firmer on his waist now, making Isak shiver. “I was mad at you, but I couldn’t miss your birthday.”

They’re practically breathing each other’s breaths now, but neither takes it further.

No one is daring to close the gap.

“Happy birthday, Isak Valtersen.” Even says, ever softly.

“Thanks for coming, Even Bech Næsheim.”

And then Isak is the one to close the gap.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it was really Sonja! Isak my dear...  
> Just to make it clear, Isak met Sonja and she told him everything. And they both planned the Even/Sonja reunion. It was not a good move from Isak but he thought he was doing his "friend" a favor.  
> So? Your thoughts? let me know how you found this chapter in a comment if you'd like to leave one :)
> 
> Have a great day/evening/night :*


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terribly sorry...  
> but here's chapter 6,and SURPRISE, it's not the last one ;)  
> Enjoy :*

 

The countertop feels cold and hard underneath him. He lost strength in his legs a while ago and his lower back aches for him to move and begs for the discomfort to end.

But he can’t grant that when his face found the ultimate comfort in the crook of Even’s neck and his arms found home around his shoulders. He fears that if he lets go now, he would wake up and the oasis would disappear. So he holds tight, so tight that Even’s laugh makes his whole body vibrate in response.

“I didn’t want to ruin this but I can’t breathe, Isak.” Even slowly disentangles himself from Isak’s arms, but his hands are still holding Isak in place. He is still standing between Isak’s spread legs.

“I’m sorry.” Isak whispers, feeling shy and wrecked under Even’s fond stares. He puts his hands on the counter while Even’s move to touch his neck.

“Sorry about what?” Even demands, caressing Isak’s jaw with his thumbs.

“For strangling you.” Isak lowers his eyes. “For being stupid.”

“I’m sorry too.” Even runs his hand through Isak’s hair before resting it on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. “I’m sorry for not contacting you after that weekend.”

“Why did you do that?” Isak holds onto Even’s tight shirt, as if he’s begging him for an explanation.

“You abandoned me on the train station and left like you didn’t care, like I misinterpreted everything.” His voice sounds low and his words bounce on Isak’s lips. “And despite that, I told myself not to give up. I wanted to confront Sonja and tell her how we were no longer fit for each other. I wanted to tell my friends the part of my identity that I hid from them. I had everything planned, and I didn’t want to reach out to you until I had fixed it all. But then I saw you with a girl, and she had her arms around your neck and she kissed you. It hit me that I had only been thinking about me, but not about you, about how you would react if I approached you with an intention that might not match yours. So the spirit I had vanished, and I didn’t meet any of my goals. And then,” he swallows, harshly.

“And then?” Isak encourages him to finish.

Even looks at him. “And then things happened. I’m sure Sonja already covered that up for me.”

Isak’s arms circle around Even’s waist to pull him closer. “You said I was stupid, but so were you.”

Even snorts and raises his eyebrows. “I was stupid? How?”

“The true misinterpretation is that you misinterpreted what happened that weekend.” Isak pouts. “And you had a girlfriend that hugged you in front of me too.”

Even laughs. “We were both stupid, I guess.” He lifts Isak’s chin with his hand and then gives him a quick peck. “You still taste like chocolate.”

“And you don’t taste like beer?” Isak narrows his eyes.

“Oh I didn’t have any beer.”

“Yes you did, when we were playing that dumb game.”

“I pretended I did, I took no sip. Your friends were too busy and too tipsy to notice.”

“I didn’t notice anything either.”

“I guess the little extra effort I put on my look today paid off then.” He smiles widely, and Isak’s gaze lowers from Even’s eyes to his mouth, marveling at a laugh he has been missing, at a smile he wants to treasure forever.

“Speaking of that game,” Even speaks again, “I did not misinterpret things again, did I?”

Isak takes a few seconds to grasp Even’s question.  He smiles and shakes his head. “I hope I didn’t misinterpret things either.”

Even shakes his head. “And what did you steal?” he asks

Isak thinks again. “Oh that.” He snorts, “I stole condoms from a store when I was twelve or something. It was nothing.”

Even laughs and pulls Isak’s face closer for another kiss, a longer kiss. “I thought you would say you stole my h-”

“Don’t you dare finish that!” Isak shouts, trying to restrain his laugh.

“Make me.” Even’s intention is obvious in his eyes.

So Isak reads that intention, and accepts that challenge.

.

.

 

Wednesday, 12:20

The school year is officially over and Isak is being dragged by Jonas and other friends to get some cheap good pizza Magnus has been daydreaming about forever. He doesn’t complain and follows them willingly, but his mind is too preoccupied to actively take part of their ongoing shouts and jokes.

They didn’t experience what he experienced last night.

He repeatedly checks his phone and licks his lips that were too chapped to not be noticed by his friends. And when Magnus finally declares that the place where they’re heading is near, his phone buzzes in his hand.

_“Can you come over? I have a surprise for you <3”_

 

*

 

“Stop laughing and give me my phone back!”

“Your Instagram doesn’t make sense.”

“You don’t make sense either right now. Give me my phone.”

“Most of the posts are just about Jonas, I’m jealous.”

“Don’t make me regret giving it to you.”

Isak is resting his head on Even’s thighs while the latter is going through his Instagram posts and laughing at every picture and every comment. One of Even’s hands is holding the phone while the other is fondling Isak’s face.

They have been in the same position on Even’s bedroom floor for almost two hours now and neither of them moved to change it. Neither of them wanted to.

“So what’s your plan for the summer?” Even says, putting the phone on Isak’s stomach, finally returning it back.

“I don’t know. I didn’t plan for anything.” Isak says, tilting his head to look at Even. “What about you?”

“If you don’t a have a plan then I don’t have one either.” He smiles at him as he pokes his nose. Isak tries to stifle his smile and hide his blush but he giggles when Even starts pinching his cheeks. “So how did you like the surprise?”

Isak rolls his eyes and gets his head up. He crosses his legs and reaches his hand to the top of Even’s bed. “I already said it like a thousand times already. I like it.” He looks at the photo album Even made for him as a birthday present, “although I am sure I told you not to take photos of me back then.” He keeps on browsing through it, surprised as to how many photos are in it. The album is full of photographs of Isak, smiling, walking, looking up or just standing. They were all taken back in the forest of Oppdal, and they are all making Isak question if what’s currently happening is true or just a fruit of his imagination.

“I couldn’t help it. You looked better than nature, I just had to.” Even slides closer to Isak and pulls him by the neck for a kiss that lasts more than they both expected.

“Better than nature?” Isak breaks the kiss, smiling at Even. “Didn’t you say I was nature too?”

“You remember that?” Even asks. His eyes shift from Isak’s eyes to his lips, and he brings his face closer to nuzzle Isak’s nose.

“Yeah, I remember that.” Isak lifts his hand to put it on Even’s cheek and tilts his head before his lips connect one more time with Even’s. He still can’t believe he’s allowed to do this. He still can’t comprehend that he can kiss Even now, and that Even’s lips don’t waste time to press on his.

The kisses and giggles in between don’t stop until Isak’s hip bone hits the base of the bed. He winces and Even opens his eyes. “We probably should get on the bed.” Says Isak, holding the place where he got hurt.

“Are you okay?” Even asks. Isak shakes his head and smiles, indicating that he wasn’t hurt much. “Is it uncomfortable for you? Sitting on the floor?” Even demands.

“A little bit, my bum hurts and it’s a little bit cold.” Isak says, sliding closer to Even.

“We have to do something about that then.” Even pouts and raises an eyebrow in a playful manner.

“Yeah. We should just move to bed.” Isak says, unable to comprehend the reason behind Even’s evident mischievousness.

“Or,” Even extends his right arm only to grab Isak’s right arm, slightly pulling him closer, “you can sit on my lap.” He tilts his head. His face radiates playfulness but still hints that he is not joking.

Isak unconsciously coughs. “Excuse me?” he asks, the corners of his mouth fighting to not move.

Even pulls him even closer now, not lightly, but still not too forceful. “Sit on my lap. I don’t feel like standing or moving to bed.”

Isak finds himself in the obligation to follow when Even keeps pulling him. And now that’s he’s fully sitting on Even’s lap, his hands fight not to tremble while they’re resting on Even’s shoulders. His eyes fight to find purpose too.

“It’s more comfortable this way?” Even asks, swaying his head to invite Isak to look back.

“A little bit.” Isak answers in a small voice. His eyes manage to meet Even’s and what he finds makes his insides churn. He’s not sure if it’s a good thing, because Even’s expression is the softest he has ever seen, or a bad thing, because his blush doesn’t obey what his mind would’ve planned for.

“This is very comfortable for me.” Even says, pulling Isak closer until their chests touch. “This feels so right.” He smiles, and his eyes drop to look at Isak’s lips.

Isak loses it whenever Even does that, whatever that “it” may be.

“Don’t you think we’re going too fast?” Isak asks, drawing hesitant patterns with his fingertips on Even’s nape. “This time yesterday I wasn’t even sure you would come to my birthday.”

“This time yesterday I wasn’t even sure if I had a plan of what I was going to do when I see you,” he lifts his hands to grab Isak’s arms, “but I don’t think we’re going too fast. If anything, we’re going too slow.”

Isak snorts, “I’m on your lap, Even. I think we are going fast.”

“I think we’re months late actually.” Even pecks Isak and their giggles fill the room again. “But it feels right, so I don’t care about norms or calculations.”

“That’s fine with me.” Isak says, moving even closer to Even that his hands are now caressing Even’s hair instead of the back of his neck. Their faces are so close and their eyes are looking into each other’s souls, yet they don’t kiss. They’re just teasing, nuzzling, breathing into each other’s skin, as if they’re being careful not to break each other, as if they’re afraid it wouldn’t last.

Or at least, that’s what Isak is thinking.

“We could’ve had this months ago.” Even whispers, and Isak detects something sad in his eyes, “if it wasn’t for me being-”

“Stop!” Isak puts a finger on Even’s mouth, rushing him to stop talking, “let me tell you something.” Isak relaxes more on Even’s lap and his legs close tighter on Even sides. “I’m not religious or anything, but I do believe in the thing they call fate. If something is bound to happen, then it’s going to happen, and you can’t just interrupt it or change its flow. We’re not that strong. We can’t see future and we don’t always know what’s best for us. So I think it’s no use to regret things we did and others we didn’t, what matters the most is now.” Isak stops, and his hands move from Even’s hair to finally rest on his cheeks, caressing them, worshipping them.

“I didn’t know you were this deep.” Even says, circling his arms around Isak’s waist.

“I didn’t know you look even hotter with your hair down.” Isak jokes, lifting his eyes to look at the golden hairs that are shadowing Even’s forehead.

“So you think I’m hot?” Even asks, raising his eyebrows.

“I’ve already said that.” Isak rolls his eyes.

“No you haven’t.” Even shakes his head.

“I’ve already meant that many times, you are hot.”

“Thank you, you’re not so bad yourself.” Even giggles, and Isak allows himself to pinch Even a little bit forcefully that it almost leaves a mark. Even winces but then continues on laughing.

“You’re not so deep after all, you’re still a child.”

“Wait until I get my curls back.” Isak claims, pretending to be upset.

“I actually can’t wait.” Even laughs, and his laugh makes his eyes disappear that Isak can’t see the blue correctly now.

“I don’t think you’re going to like it that much. I said it before, I’ll steal everyone you know and even everyone your friends know!” Isak says with smug, but it vanishes immediately when he sees Even’s expression that turns blue. Even forces a giggle out but Isak doesn’t miss how his arms aren’t as tight as they were around his waist. Isak’s hands still on Even’s cheeks and he feels the urge to speak, to make Even’s long face fade away, to make Even’s arms hug him as tight as they both desire. So he speaks.

“Even?” he’s hesitant, and he hopes that what he is about to do doesn’t cost them the comfortable phase they were both embarking on. Even hums and forces a smile. “Is there anything you want to tell me?” Isak asks.

“Like what?” Even’s voice sounds weak.

“Like why we didn’t have this months ago?” Isak immediately regrets his choice of words, so he hurries to ask another question, “like, what happened?”

Even’s eyes fixate on Isak’s. His pupils don’t move yet Isak can notice how wary they are. “Sonja told you everything already.”

“Yeah, but I want to hear everything from your mouth.” Isak says, moving his hands to skim over Even’s face. “You don’t have to say anything, I’m not forcing you. But if you really want to tell me, then go ahead, I swear I won’t judge.” He clears his throat, “I swear I won’t cry.”

“What did Sonja tell you exactly?” he asks, and Isak can feel how Even’s hands clutch his shirt.

“Let’s act like Sonja told me absolutely nothing. I want to hear everything from you firsthand.”

Even nods. “Okay.”

Isak’s hands don’t move from Even’s face, Even’s arms don’t release Isak’s waist. Isak’s thighs are still pressed on Even’s sides. Isak’s legs feel a little bit numb but he doesn’t move, he doesn’t say anything.

Because Even is speaking. He tells Isak how he wanted to come out to his friends. He tells him how his mind made him think it was a brilliant idea to kiss his friend to verify if he ever liked him more than a friend. He tells him how his friend retaliated violently because he was religious, because he was Muslim. He tells him how he read the Quran to know what to do with his friends that are Muslims. He tells him how he had a manic episode and started writing verses on his social media and on the walls of his old school. He tells him how his heart broke when he read the comments under the posts he made during his manic episode. He tells him how he deleted his accounts and phone numbers from his phone when his depressive episode started. He tells him how he couldn’t delete Isak’s phone number. He tells him how it was the most depressing episode he has ever had since he was diagnosed when he was thirteen.

He tells him that he’s bipolar.

And Isak just listens. He doesn’t cry, he doesn’t pity Even. He just…listens.

 

.

.

 

Jonas Noah Vasquez

11:39

Bro

You want to grab some ice cream this afternoon ?

Ice cream?

Ice cream???

Did you break your charger and you want mine?

What’s wrong with ice cream?

No my charger is just fine

When did we ever plan to get ice cream?

Wait

Is everything alright?

DUDE!!

Let’s just meet somewhere this afternoon

Everything is okay, don’t worry

Ok cool

Come to my house

No

Let’s meet outside

In the park near school?

you’re being weird…

but okay! Sure!

C00l

See you there at 17?

Shouldn’t we meet at an ice cream shop?

Or are we going to go there after we meet?

So now you want ice cream?

You’re confusing me Isak!

To hell with ice cream

I just want us to meet

Damn it!

You should’ve just said that!!!

Ice cream? Seriously?

Bye Jonas!

So no ice cream?

I just want to know how much money I sould have on me

See you at 17

Jesus christ!

 

*

 

It’s 17:11 when he arrives at the public park. It doesn’t take more than 30 minutes to get to the park from his house, which he left an hour and half ago, but he stopped his bike many times. He gave himself many pauses to rehearse his speech, to prepare his gestures, to project every move he’s going to make and every single word he’s going to say. But everything he planned in his head vanishes when he sees Jonas, struggling to collect some coins he dropped. He doesn’t forget everything because he’s afraid, not because he has doubts either, but because he feels more at ease now. He feels a little bit stupid for overthinking the whole thing.

Jonas lifts his head and blinks when he sets his eyes on Isak. He nods and sits on the edge of the bench, their bench. Isak starts walking toward it, and sits after giving Jonas’ shoulder a small bump. “your money is acting up on you again?”

“Just like always.” Jonas laughs and so does Isak, “what’s up? What’s with all the ice cream talk? What is it that you want to talk about?” Jonas turns his head to look at his best friend.

Isak lets out a nervous laugh. “why are you so impatient? I just got here.”

“well I got here fifteen minutes ago,” Jonas retorts, “and you talked about ice cream dude. Something is definitely off.” Jonas says in a low voice.

“Nothing is off. I just want to tell you something.” Isak shrugs and gives Jonas a half smile.

“Okay.” Jonas says, and the look in his eyes is somehow encouraging Isak to do it, to say it all so quickly, to reveal what he’s been hiding for so long, what he’s been denying for so long. Maybe Isak is imagining the look, but he’s ready now. He’s about to do it. He’s going to do it.

He clears his throat. “Do you remember the guy that came to my birthday party?”

Jonas looks down and nods. “yeah. The hot dude, Even.” He looks up to meet Isak’s eyes, “I wanted to ask you about him but I forgot, what about him?”

Isak diverts his gaze and twists his tongue. “He didn’t leave the party when you guys did.”

“I actually noticed that.” Jonas says, “did he do something?”

Isak chuckles, unintentionally. “Yeah, he did something.” Isak licks his lips and turns his head to meet Jonas’ eyes. “We both did something.”

Jonas slightly tilts his head. “Something.” He repeats with a flat tone, “like what?” He asks.

Isak bites his bottom lip. “like, getting together.” Isak fixates his eyes on Jonas’ and awaits his reaction.

Jonas lowers his eyes for in a split second and lifts them back up. He smiles and nods.

He nods.

“He’s,” Jonas waits and rubs his lips together, “he’s a very good-looking man.” He finishes, giving Isak a funny look.

Isak furrows his eyebrows and snorts. “a good-looking man?”

Jonas shrugs and raises his mighty eyebrows. “what do you want me to say? He is hot, dude.”

Isak shakes his head and offers a huge smile. He senses the glee surrounding his heart and feels grateful for having a friend like Jonas.

“So when did you guys meet?” Jonas asks. Isak lowers his head and thinks. He decides it’s time to tell Jonas a little detail he’s been hiding from him. Jonas never asked, but Isak knows for sure that Jonas would want to know. Jonas derserves to know.

“Do you remember that weekend?” Isak speaks, which causes Jonas to turn his head to give him full attention. “When I went missing fack in February?”

Jonas bites the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, of course I do.”

Isak clears his throat. “well, that’s when we met.”

Isak tells him everything, from the train incident to the cleaning he had to do to when they got to the station back in Oslo. He tells him how they didn’t speak for months and how they reunited just recently. He tells him about Sonja and how Even broke up with her recently. He tells him how he spent the evening at Even’s yesterday. He tells him everything, but not in details.

He doesn’t tell him the things that only Even has the right to reveal.

“I can’t believe you, Isak Valtersen, cleaned a stranger’s house.” Jonas laughs.

“And I can’t believe that all you retained was me cleaning a house.” Isak rolls his eyes at his friend who is still laughing.

“You don’t even clean your room, dude. Allow me to enjoy this.”

Isak stifles his laugh and keeps looking amusedly at his friend. “But you really scored a hot guy. Congratulations, don’t forget about your friends though.”

Isak snorts. “Scored? Oh my God.” He shakes his head. “that sounds terrible.”

Jonas grins and lifts his hand to grip Isak’s shoulder. “Anyway, I’m happy for you bro. you look happy.”

Isak smiles and takes a moment before opening his mouth. “you’re okay with this?” Isak asks.

“With what?”

“With me having a boyfriend?”

“why wouldn’t I be? He looks like a chill guy to me.” Jonas shrugs and gives Isak a soft expression. The exact expression Isak was hoping for. the exact expression Isak needs.

Isak smiles. He is smiling a lot recently and it’s mainly because of two guys, his best friend and his boyfriend.

He just thought of Even as his boyfriend. _Woah!_

“What would you say if I told you I had a crush on you?” Isak made it sound like a joke but he’s a little bit serious about it.

Jonas chuckles. “I wouldn’t blame you.” Jonas opens his arms and scans himself with his hands. “I mean look at me. I’m sure you wouldn’t be the only person.”

Isak pushes Jonas slightly and they both fill the space with the blended sounds of their giggles.

.

 

.

 

“I told Jonas.” Isak speaks, rubbing his thumbs together, “about me. About us.”

Even lifts his head to look at him. “Okay. And?”

“And,” Isak lowers his head “I’m sorry I didn’t take you permission. But I promise he won’t tell anyone. He would even forget I told him if I asked him to so just tell me if you want-”

“Stop stop stop!” Even cuts Isak off and puts his hands on isak’s to stop him from starting a fire with his rubbing thumbs. “it’s okay, I’m glad you did it, I don’t mind.” He gives him his casual soft smile. “what I meant was how he took it.”

Isak looks at Even and smiles. “he was cool with it, totally cool. He even called you hot.”

Even’s eyes bug out before he breaks into giggles. “Did it make you jealous?” he winks.

Isak rolls his eyes. “it made me laugh, and that was all.” Isak smuggly lifts his head to look down on Even.

The latter lets go of Isak’s hands and place them on his thighs. “is that so?”

“Hmm.” Isak answers. He lowers his head to look at his lap. He frowns but giggles escape his mouth. “but what is this position we’re in?”

Even tilts his head. “That’s what you said yesterday, before I put you in my lap. Is that what you want again?” he smirks and dodges Isak’s attempted slap on his shoulder.

Isak sat on the desk right when he arrived to Even’s room a few minutes ago, and Even grabbed the chair and sat at the desk, resting his arms on Isak thighs. Isak has to look down and Even has to look up for their gazes to meet, but Isak couldn’t comment on the position until now.

And it’s not because he’s hating it. In fact, he’s even growing fond of it.

“You didn’t put me on your lap,” Isak articulates, “I’m not an object. I was just using you, the floor was frosting my butt.”

“And my lap was more than privilged to take you in.” Even says before standing up, and Isak follows the motion with his eyes until he has to look up to meet Even’s eyes, Even’s seducing eyes.

Even moves closer that Isak has to beg for air. “What about this position?” He asks, seductively.

“My neck hurts if I want to look at you.” Isak tries, grateful he still has some wit to respond to Even’s tense looks.

Even lifts his hand and grabs Isak’s neck. “We don’t want that to happen.” He whispers and his hot breath tickles Isak’s lips. Isak’s open lips. Isak’s awaiting lips.

“No.” Isak shakes his head “we don’t want that.” He whispers too, before lifting his arm and putting his left hand on Even’s nape. “Come here.” He commands, and Even obeys.

They kiss once, than twice, then again. Stopping between kisses to get drunk out of each other’s expressions, to appreciate the blush on their cheeks, to take in the desire their eyes are emitting.

And when they get enough, they close their eyes, and don’t force themselves to let go until it gets difficult to breath, and even more difficult to stop.

.

 

.

 

It’s not even 21 on a Friday night and he’s already fighting sleep. He’s resting his head in his mother’s lap, letting her run her fingers through his hair and over his forehead, tracing his eyebrows and playing with his ears, just like she used to do when he was little.

The traces her fingers leave relax his muscles and if it wasn’t for the lights of the TV, he would’ve slept like a baby.

But the TV is not the only thing stopping him for closing his eyes. He sat next to her half an hour ago for a reason. He put his head on her lap because he had something in mind. He let her massage his head because he had things he wanted to tell her.

And he’s going to.

“Mom.” He whispers.

“Yes honey.” She answers immediately.

“I want to tell you something but please don’t be mad at me.”

His eyes don’t move but he can feel how she lowered her head to look at him. “What is it?” she says in a worried tone.

“I met someone.” He says, still aimlessly looking at the TV.

Her hands keep moving in his hair, but slower. “Who?”

“I’m seeing that person.” He offers, hoping his racing heartbeats aren’t noticeable.

“Okay.” She offers. “What’s her name?”

He swallows, licks his lips, closes his eyes, and breathes in and out. “His name is Even.”

And her hands stop. Everything stops. Maybe even his heart does. He starts feeling cold, out of breath, so week and so remorseful. He can’t say anything. He can’t move. He can sense the tears trying to form in his eyes. His mother’s hand feels heavy, so heavy on his head. Until it moves and her fingers return to fondle his hairs and to caress his scalp.

“Okay.” She whispers. “You told your father?”

“No.” he manages.

“Your sister?”

“No.”

“I’m the first to know?”

“No.” he clears his throat, “I already told Jonas.”

“Bad, silly boy.” She says. “You should’ve told me first.”

And her touch feels warm on his head, and even warmer on his heart.

 

*

 

22:22

Mamma

Baby

You’re asleep?

Not yet

Do you need something?

No

I just want to tell you that I’m proud of you son

I loved you since the day you were born, and this will never change

I’m sorry if my reaction was disappointing

I just didn’t want to do or say something that might make you regret telling me

But you have to know, that I love you my son

And thank you for telling me.

I love you mom

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first

Well at least I was second so it’s okay

:D

Hey

I was thinking

I was going to invite Terje for dinner this Sunday

So what about you invite Even so we can meet him?

I don’t know about that

I haven’t told my father yet

No pressure honey

I just wanted to let you know

That if you want to bring Even over, then he is most welcomed

Thank you mom

I’ll let him know

Okay

You didn’t tell my dad yet?

About the dinner

I’m going to do it tomorrow.

Let me do it.

Okay honey

Good night

Good night Mamma :*

 

*

22:38

Even Oppdal

Hello

Where did you go?

I’m sorry

I was texting my mom

Texting?

Aren’t you home?

Yeah but she just wanted to tell me something

Okay

As I was saying

Are you free tomorrow?

Yeah

Can we meet?

Why?

You want to talk about something?

Isak

We’re a couple now

I’m your boyfriend and you’re mine

We don’t need a reason to see each other

Okaaaay

I was just asking

I’m free

That’s good

Because I want us to meet at Kaffebrenneriet at 16

I can just come over

No

Let’s meet there

…

Actually there is a reason I want us to meet there tomorrow

I’m meeting with the boys

And I want you to be there

The boys?

Yeah

The boys

This is good

So?

I don’t think I should be there though

This is your first time meeting in a long time

It would be better if I wasn’t there

But I want them to meet you

They will, another day

But not tomorrow

Tomorrow is for them to meet you again

Okay

But I miss you

I miss you too

I want us to meet this Sunday

Why?

I thought we’re a couple now?

We don’t need a reason to meet

You truly hold grudges

Haha

Actually

I want you to come over

Have dinner

Come over?

To your house?

Yeah

Isak

I can do that?

Yeah you can

My mom wants you to come

I want you to come too

Wait what

Your mom?

That’s basically why we were texting

Yes, my mom

Isak!

I’m so proud of you

I wish you were here so I could hug you

I’m proud of you too

So you’re coming

Yeah I’ll come

Definitely

okay

Good night

Good night :* <3 <3

 

.

 

.

 

10:19

Pappa

Hello

Isak son

Hi

How are you?

I’m good

You?

I’m fine too

Good

Any news?

Actually yes

My mom wants us to have dinner together tomorrow

Are you free?

Yes sure, I’ll come

I miss you and Lea

You can bring someone if you want to

Isak

There is no one

If I was seeing someone I would’ve told you

Ok

I guess I should do the same

I’m seeing someone

Really? That’s great

I can’t wait to meet her

Him*

He’s coming tomorrow to the dinner actually

Okay

Your mother knows about this?

She was the one to tell me to invite him

Ok good

Are you okay with it?

Isak

You know I am

I’m sorry if I assumed it was a girl

It’s okay

See you tomorrow

See you tomorrow son

.

 

.

 

Sunday, 26 June 2016, 20:20

Isak didn’t expect that this would make him feel more nervous than Even meeting his parents. He didn’t even expect this. His mind was so preoccupied with the dinner and the preparation for it that he didn’t see this coming, and it’s playing cunningly with his nerves.

Even is in his room, and he definitely wasn’t prepared for this.

“You told me it smells bad, but it doesn’t. it’s just fine.” Even says, still looking around the room. He walks toward the bed, only to stop and stare at the wall. “Memes?” he chuckles and turns to look at Isak who is still stuck next to the door, “memes?” he repeats.

“Sorry for the disappointment. My room is nothing special.” Isak shrugs and starts walking closer toward Even.

“Yeah but memes? You have memes on the wall? Who does that?” Even is amused.

“I do and,” he raises his hand to point at the wall, “it’s not only memes. Can’t you see that photo of me and Jonas?” he doesn’t look at Even. He doesn’t even know why he’s being shy because of this.

They’ve been alone many times before.

“One photo and you both look like memes in it.” Even moves to face Isak. He puts his index finger under Isak’s chin and forces his head up. “Are you nervous?”

Isak meets his gaze. “You’re not?” Isak asks.

“I’m dead nervous.” He says. His hand moves to Isak’s hair. “I’m about to meet your parents, of course I’m nervous.”

“You shouldn’t. I’m sure they’re going to like you.”

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to say or do something that’s going to make them dislike me.”

“Just say what you want and do what you want. Don’t hide anything.” Isak circles his arms around Even’s waist and pulls him closer. “Just be you. You’re naturally charming.” Isak smiles.

Even smiles too, widely. “You think I’m charming?” he starts walking, pushing Isak to walk backward.

“You know you’re charming.” Isak lifts his chin. “Do you think I’d go for anyone?”

They’re still moving, slowly.

“I’m so honored then.” Even whispers. “I can’t believe you actually went for me, I’m glad.” Isak’s back hits the wall, gently.

Isak rolls his eyes. He tilts his head and snorts. “I can’t believe my mother actually suggested we should come to my room before dinner.”

“And I can’t believe you didn’t close the door behind you.” A girly voice startles the love birds and forces their bodies to move apart.

“Lea!” Isak screams.

“What?’ she counters. “Mom told me to get you. Dinner’s ready and served.” Her gaze moves from Isak to Even and her eyes narrow. “Hello.”

“Hi.” Even greets. He moves to offer his hand. “I’m Even.”

“Lea.” She shakes his hand and nods. “Isak told me nothing so my mom did it for him. You’re Isak’s boyfriend, right?”

Even turns his head quickly to look at Isak. The latter visibly winces and pulls a shocked face. “Lea I’m sorry, but you were with your friend the whole weekend so I couldn’t tell you.”

“Save it.” She motions to Isak to stop talking. “I’ll be mad at you later. My mom wants us down now.”

Isak starts walking and Even follows him, but they don’t leave the room as Lea stands in front of Even and makes him stop. She looks at his face. “You’re so handsome. What do you even like about Isak?”

“Lea!” Isak cries and Even laughs, “you said you would be mad later.”

“Well later starts now. How did you get yourself a hottie like this one over here?” she motions to Even, “it’s definitely an upgrade from that Sara.” She turns to look at Even. “I never liked her.” She tells him with an attitude.

“Oh my God!” Isak screams and turns to grab Even by the wrist to make him move, but Even is stil laughing like he can’t control himself.

 

*

22:22

Even Oppdal

I’m home

I miss you already

I’m sorry we didn’t really get to spend time alone

It’s okay

I got to meet your family

Did they say anything when I left?

Yeah

They said they liked you

For the fourth time!

Haha

I was scared they were just being polite

No

I assure you, they were genuine.

That’s relieving.

I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk about your meeting with the boys

How did it go?

It was awkward at first

But it was good

I really missed them

I’m sure you did

I told them about you

You did?

Yeah

I said I got myself a beautiful boyfriend

And what did they say?

They were actually cool about it

They asked for your pictures

And they bugged me because they wanted to meet you

Do you want me to meet them?

Only if you want to

No pressure

I’d like that

C00l

Hey!

That’s mine!

Haha

Which means it’s mine too

Be creative please and stop stealing content

Content?

Hahaha

Well sorry for stealing your “content”

You’re forgiven this time

I want to hear your voice

You just heard it like an hour ago

I want to hear it again

Can I call you?

Yeah

:*

<3

.

 

.

 

Wednesday, 29 June, 18:18

“From my own experience, I did reckon you’d be shy. But you were even shyer than I expected. I’m jealous.”

“Shut up! I was just nervous, that’s all.”

“Your cheeks were so red! And you left a huge space between us, that was so funny.”

“Can you please stop? I said I was nervous.”

“Okay okay, I’ll stop.”

They’re both lying in bed in Even’s room, Even on his back and Isak on his side, using Even’s arm as a pillow. Even has been playing with his hair and tickling Isak’s neck. It’s comfortable. So comfortable.

“They liked you by the way.” Even speaks. His hand moves to soothe Isak’s ears.

“I’m not sure. I felt it was awkward for me.” Isak says.

“They were nervous too, I could tell. But they’re just better at hiding it than you.”

Isak hums, and looks up to Even’s close face. A week ago he couldn’t do any of what he’s doing now. Sharing the bed with Even, meeting his friends, playing with his hair.

Being his. It’s strange for Isak, but it’s gaily strange. Literally.

“I know the boys can be weird sometimes.” Even speaks, moving his head to meet Isak’s gaze, “Elias can be too much at times. You can’t understand Mutta and Mikael most of the times, and Adam is random with his comments, but they’re all good kids. Really.”

“Yousef was the coolest.” Isak says, “I think he’s the most composed one out of them.”

Even chuckles and Isak moves his eyebrows up, asking Even to elaborate. “He’s chill, until Elias’ sister is around, and then he loses his chill.”

Isak smiles. “I can’t imagine that. He looks like he got game.”

“Maybe he does, but not anyone can handle Sana, and he’s no exception.”

Isak frowns. “Sana? Elias’ sister is called Sana?”

“Yeah.” Even answers. “She goes to your school, the same year as you actually.”

“I think I know her.” Isak snorts, “Now I can actually see it. If she’s really the one in my school, then I can clearly see it.”

Even laughs and returns his hand back to Isak hair, ruffling through the short hairs and soothing Isak’s head. Isak could sleep right now right here. His eyes close and he almost let himself drift away, if it wasn’t for Even speaking and forcing his eyes to open.

“Isak?” Even asks.

“Yeah.” Isak responds in a small voice.

“Do you still want to move to that kollektivet?”

Isak lifts his head to look at Even’s face. “What?”

“Just answer, baby.”

Isak licks his lips and returns to his comfortable position. “No. I don’t think I’m leaving home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I am. Why are you asking?”

Even clears his throat. “Do you know if the room is still vacant?”

Isak looks up again. “I think it is. Why?”

“I think I want to move there.”

Isak’s eyes widen. “What? Why?”

“I just want to start living on my own now. I also have another reason.”

“What is it?” Isak asks.

“Are you free this weekend?”

“What?” Isak can’t even keep up now. “You want to go see it this weekend?”

“No.” Even looks Isak in the eyes. “I want us to go to Oppdal.””

“WHAT?” Isak fully screams now. “Even please! My mind is in shambles.”

“Okay I’ll make it clear for you.” Even says. “I want to move out of the house, because I want to start depending on my own, but also because I want Marianne to come live here in Oslo with us. She’s getting older and I don’t want her to stay far from us, so I thought I could give her my room. But I have to go there to convince her to come here, because she refused every time we asked her to come stay with us, and I want you to come with me.”

Isak takes a few seconds to grasp Even’s words. “You could’ve just said this from the beginning instead of confusing me.”

“So?” Even lifts his eyebrows, “You’re coming?”

“I don’t know if I could.” Isak knits his brows. “But are you sure about this?”

“Yeah, I want her to come here and-”

“No!” Isak stops him before he could finish the sentence. “Are you sure you want me to go there with you?”

Even smiles. “Yeah.” He whispers, “I guess I want to go there to inform her of two things.”

Isak doesn’t try to stifle his smile because he can proudly swoon now. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Even does make him smile. His boyfriend makes him smile.

“I don’t know if I could help convince her. My curls are gone”

Even laughs. “The curls may be gone, but the beautiful boy she fell for is still there.” He pinches Isak’s cheek, “besides, I think they’re on their way back.” Even puts both of his hands in Isak’s hair and ruffles through it, making it a mess and making Isak attack Even’s sides with tickles to make him stop.

And this doesn’t only feel satisfying, but feels natural too.

 

.

 

.

Friday, 1st July 2016

His mind revisits all the events of the adventure he took back in February. He’s taking the same path, seeing the lights of the same house, feeling a similar hit of concern. The only difference is that this time, he’s not following a stranger to the latter’s grandmother’s house. Instead, he’s holding hands with his boyfriend to Marianne’s house. The same place, with the same person, but a totally different sensation.

The house is a few steps away when he stops walking, hence forcing Even to do the same. Even turns quickly and Isak pulls him closer. “Are you sure you want to tell your grandma about us?”

Even faces Isak and puts his right hand on Isak’s neck. “Baby, are you still nervous? Yes I want to tell her. I am sure she will be cool about it.”

“No, not that.” Isak shakes his head. “How do you want to tell her?”

Even purses his lips. “I don’t know.” His expression softens and a smile decorates his face. “I’m sure she would guess it when she sees us together.”

Isak smiles. “What about making it look even more obvious for her?”

Even tilts his head. “How? We keep holding hands? I’m already planning on doing that.”

Isak shakes his head again. “I was thinking of something else.” He releases Even’s hand and reaches for his full backpack. The backpack that he didn’t let Even inspect for a specific reason. He opens it, reaching inside and getting the wanted subject out of it. He raises his head to look at Even, who wastes no time to meet Isak’s gaze and lets him see the sparkling eyes and the pleasantly shocked face.

“What do you think?” Isak asks, smiling proudly.

“How did you get mine?” Even demands.

“I stole it. Sorry.” Isak grins.

“It’s July.” Even says.

“So? It’s still pretty cold here.” Isak shrugs. “And? What do you think?”

Even reaches both his arms out and grabs Isak’s face to pull him for a quick but passionate kiss. “I love it. I think Marianne’s going to love it too.”

*

Even knocks on the door while Isak takes a few steps aside, readying himself to surprise Marianne. The door opens and Marianne quickly pulls Even in, hugging him and placing kisses on his cheeks. She doesn’t know of Isak’s presence until Even calls for him to appear, and when he does so, Marianne’s face makes all his concerns fade away. She is not wearing the pajamas with black dots, but she is still as soft as he remembers her to be.

Even holds Isak’s hand and pulls him closer so that both stand right in front of Marianne. “I kept my promise and brought him here again.”

But Marianne doesn’t pay attention to their linked hands. Her eyes are fixated on the red scarves encircling their necks. The red scarves she made five months ago.

“I’m glad you did.” she walks toward them with a smile on her face. She moves her arms to put a hand on Isak’s cheek and the other on Even’s cheek. She turns her gaze to Even’s eyes. “And I see you gave the second one the right person.” She moves her hands down to adjust their matching red scarves. “It took you a long time, but I’m so happy to see you together again.”

And yes, Marianne is also as cool as Isak remembers her to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I say it again, I am so sorry, but life happened and I couldn't edit and publish the last chapter right on time. but to make up for this, I rewrote the entire last chapter and added a few things that it became 2 chapters instead of one.
> 
> next chapter is fluff, fluff and more fluff.
> 
> Let me know what you think about this chapter (or fic in general) in a comment if you'd like to leave one.  
> Also, Happy anniversary since baby Isak came out :* 
> 
> Have a nice day/evening/night <3


	7. Goodbye :*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is here. *screams*
> 
> PLEASE! It's highly recommended that you start listening to the song mentioned after "-now playing-" while reading the passage that comes after. It would make more sense and I would appreciate it a lot. ( you will find a youtube link ;) )
> 
> Now enjoy :*

He’s having something like a déjà vu.

Isak is sitting at the dinner table, watching Even and his grandmother talk while paying him minimum attention. The only difference is that instead of exchanging tales and news, Even is trying to convince his grandmother to move to Oslo while Marianne is insisting on finishing her life in Oppdal. Even said that Isak tagging along would somehow help make her give in. Isak didn’t really believe it, but now that he’s in the middle of the situation, he’s not sure if he should stay silent or say something, and if he is to say something, what would that be. But Isak doesn’t dwell much on his worries as he hears his name.

“Isak came all the way here just to convince you. Don’t let him go back home disheartened, Marianne.” Even says while pointing at Isak. Marianne looks at him and pouts, and Isak wishes Even would stop forcing her to do something she doesn’t prefer, but he understands his concerns.

But he also understands her wishes.

“I appreciate it honey, but I can’t leave this house or this village. I’ve lived my whole life here, and I have many memories that I want to cherish in this house. Besides, I don’t want you to leave home just to make a room for me.” She says, biting her lower lip and tapping her fingers on the table.

“I am not leaving home so that you can move in grandma. I’m moving out because I want to start living on my own.” Even moves the chair and slides closer to Isak. He throws his left arm around Isak’s shoulder. “Also, it would be easier for us both to see you all the time, and we’ll have a little room for our own.” Even says, turning his gaze to Isak who can’t help but lower his head.

“So you’re using me, huh?” Marianne snaps, “so that your parents would let you move out and get a room where you can do whatever you want with your boyfriend without interruption, right?”

Even chuckles and tightens his grip on Isak’s shoulders. “That too, Marianne. You can read through me.” He turns his head to place a kiss on Isak’s cheek, and the little boy turns his head quickly to scowl at his daring boyfriend. “So what do you say?” Even turns his attention to his amused grandmother.

She folds her arms and sighs. “You have to let me think about this, sweetie. I can’t decide right now.”

“That’s fine. Isak and I will wait for your decision.” He looks at Isak, “very eagerly.” He moves his right arm so that his hand reaches for Isak’s to hold it. Right in front of Marianne’s eyes.

“Let’s forget about me now.” Marianne pushes in her chair under the table and leans closer, “Let’s talk about you two, when did this happen and why am I just finding out about it?”

“What are you talking about? You have to be specific, grandma.” Even lifts their linked hands high, pretending to flex his arms. Isak forces their hands down and elbows Even.

“I know you’re proud of your pretty boyfriend but give me details, okay!”

Even laughs but his grip refuses to release Isak’s hand. “I’ll tell you everything but you have to tell me what you meant when you said ‘it took us a long time’ first.”

Marianne smirks at the attentive boys. “I may be old, but I’m not a dupe honey. I saw the way you looked at Isak.” Isak can see how Even smirks and lowers his eyes. “I’ve lived much to recognize that look. It’s the one that gave your grandfather away. It’s the one your father had when he looked at your mother. It’s the one Jack had when he saw Rose and the one-”

“I will stop you right now grandma.” Even laughs and so does Isak when Marianne’s reference settles in his head. “I know you want to impress me with a movie reference but that was over the line.”

Marianne sniggers. “I wasn’t trying to impress you at all. And you got the point.”

Even nods. “Yeah, I did.” He turns his head to look at Isak who has his eyebrows raised. “I guess the only one who didn’t get the point or understand the looks is this dense boy right here.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “I thought I was being pretty obvious.”

Isak rolls his eyes and nudges Even’s in the ribs. He looks at Marianne. “Don’t mind him.” He shakes his head, trying to act casual in front of his boyfriend’s grandmother, “he’s just embarrassed you just exposed his past intentions.”

Marianne’s eyes scintillate with mischief. “Should I expose you too?”

Isak blinks and Even squeals “What?” he asks, politely.

“Your intentions weren’t innocent either, baby boy.” Isak swallows and Even’s laugh echoes in his ears. “You looked at my grandson like you didn’t believe he was real, like his existence fascinated you.” She leans closer over the table, “just like how I looked at my husband the day I met him for the first time.”

 

*

It’s not the aroma of coffee or the scent of smoke that wakes him up this time. It’s not a smell, not a sound either. The first reaction his body had when his brain gained consciousness was something near arousal. Something that fueled his whole body with warmth.

The soft touch of warm lips caressing the back of his neck is what woke him up this time, and he believes that it’s his new favorite thing in the world.

He smiles. “Good morning.” He doesn’t move.

“Good morning.” Even says in a hoarse voice. His breath tickles Isak’s nape and he squeezes his eyes to revel in the moment.

“How long have you been up for?” Isak asks, still not facing Even.

“Just a while ago.” Even tightens his left arm on Isak’ waist and pulls him closer. “Sorry I woke you up.”

Isak shakes his head. “I’m glad you did.” He turns to lie on his back. “You had a good sleep?” Isak asks, lifting his hand to ruffle Even’s hair.

Even nods and lifts his upper body to prop himself up on his elbow. “The best sleep I’ve ever had.” He lowers his eyes to laugh. “I really thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep last night.”

“Why?” Isak asks.

“It’s our first time sleeping together, in the same bed, as a couple. I thought I would be so nervous.” The soft smile doesn’t leave his face.

Isak pouts. “So you weren’t nervous at all?”

Even leans closer to give Isak a peck. “I was. But I was so tired too, so I guess tiredness beat nerves and took over, fortunately.”

Isak smiles. “So may I ask why you were feeding on me poor neck when I woke up?” Isak tilts his head and looks smugly at his boyfriend.

Even laughs. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help it.” He leans closer to place a kiss on Isak’s neck, a kiss that lingers to reach his jaw and eventually his ears. “I’ll try to control myself from now on.” He whispers.

Isak turns his head to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. “Maybe I don’t want you to.”

Even’s nuzzles Isak’s nose. “You shouldn’t say things like this, Isak. Not when we haven’t had breakfast yet,” He puts his hand in Isak’s hair. “Not when my grandmother is downstairs.”

Isak chuckles. “The last time I was in this bed I woke up to you smoking on the windowsill, and today I woke up to you kissing my neck.” Isak grins. “It’s crazy how it changed.”

Even laughs. “Little do you know that back then, I had to control myself too.”

Isak’s eyes widen. “What?”

Even laughs. Even doesn’t stop laughing at all. “You look so delicious when you sleep.”

Isak rolls his eyes and pushes Even away to leave bed. They have to leave bed right now.

It would be dangerous for both of them if they don’t leave bed now.

 

*

They spent the day going around the village, stopping to take photos and to steal kisses. Isak did feel self-conscious whenever Even got too close to him at the beginning. He even avoided one of his kisses when people were around, but his boyfriend was so caring and so acceptant that it didn’t make his face fall or get him mad. So he forgot about his worries eventually, and cared less about people around them and more about how he felt and what he wanted. He pulled Even for a kiss, right when they got to a crowded place, making the tall boy blink and making Isak feel stupid for his previous thoughts.

Because no one was looking, no one cared. Not for now. Not here in Oppdal at least.

They came back home when the sun set and Marianne awaited him with warm tea and kisses on the cheeks. Right after they finished dinner, she hurried Isak to accompany her to her room, promising him a surprise that will brighten their day.

She wasn’t wrong. His grin didn’t leave his face as Marianne went through an album filled with Even’s childhood photos and told Isak the story of each and every picture. Isak genuinely enjoyed it. He was getting a glimpse of his boyfriend’s childhood from Marianne on a Saturday night in Oppdal, and he wouldn’t swap this for anything in the world.

“I think you’re bonding a little bit too much here.” Even says, coming through the door. “I didn’t want to disturb you but I wanted to know the level of embarrassment I should prepare myself to.”

Isak and Marianne both laugh. “I only told him the good tales.” Marianne says.

“Yeah,” Isak smirks, “like how you got on your knee to propose to a girl when you were eight after you saw it in a movie but the girl pushed you and ran away from you and you sulked about it for a whole week.”

Even palms his forehead. “Yeah, such a good tale. I’m so proud of it.” Even moves toward Marianne’s bed before sitting on his knees. “I will ruin the mood for you and I’m sorry for that but, I need an answer grandma.” Even’s smile falters but his face remains soft.

Isak glances at Marianne. She closes the photo album and puts it on the nightstand. She clears her throat and looks at her grandson. “You’re really persistent this time, kid.”

“I just want what’s good for you, what’s good for us.” Even says, climbing into the bed to face his grandmother. “Please?” he begs.

She sighs, and turns her head to look at Isak. He keeps his face blank until she turns her gaze back to Even. “I guess I’ll give in this time.” She reaches out her hand to caress her grandson’s cheek. “I’ll go. But you need to give me some time to bid this place farewell.” She reaches her other hand out to caress Isak’s cheek. She sighs and smiles. “I can’t say no to my two sons.”

*

“We managed to convince Marianne.” Even whispers, and Isak’s eyes habitually lower to his lips.

“We did.” Isak whispers back, looking through his eyelashes.

“And we got new photos for our photo album.” Even nuzzles Isak’s cheek.

“I thought it was my photo album and it’s going to be filled with my photos only.” Isak puts his hands on Even’s sides.

“Exactly. Which means it’s mine too.” He appeases Isak’s cheekbone with his hot lips. “Since you’re mine.”

Isak can’t suppress his giggles anymore so he lets them out. “Stop or we’re going to embarrass ourselves. Marianne might hear us.”

Isak’s back is pressed against the glass of the window and his lower body struggles to remain seated on the sill without trembling. The window is high on the wall but Isak still has to lift his head to look at Even. Even who claimed Isak’s thighs with his hands.

Even smirks. “She might hear us?” he says, “What is it exactly that she would be hearing?”

“My giggles.” Isak refuses to give in to Even’s teasing. “Your laughs. Your words. Any sound that we might make.” He chooses to be daring.

Even laughs, like he is proud, like he is grateful. “We are being quiet. She’s a heavy sleeper.”

Even lowers his head to place his lips on Isak’s neck. His chest heaves at the sudden contact but his hand moves instantly to grip Even’s shoulder. Even’s lips keeps moving down until they meet the collar of Isak’s shirt. He moves his head to face Isak and looks at his drowsy eyes.

“You really like shirts with tight collars, don’t you?”

“Unless you want your grandma to see the marks of your lips and teeth, I don’t really have a choice.” Isak says.

Even laughs. “Let’s get you out of it then.” Even moves his hands down to grip the hem of Isak’s shirt. He attempts to take it off in one swift move but its collar gets stuck right above Isak’s lips and they both giggle. “It’s either you have a big head or this shirt is seriously too tight.”

Isak can’t see Even’s face but he plants his hands on his boyfriend’s sides. “My head is not big.” He snaps, jokingly.

“Your head is cute. I love your head.” Isak feels Even’s lips on his, softening them ever gently and causing Isak to tremble as if it’s their first touch.

But a chuckle finds its way out of his mouth. “I hope you got your Spiderman fantasy kiss, but I’m suffocating here.”

Even chuckles and rushes to get the shirt completely off. “Spiderman kiss? So that leaves you as Spiderman?”

“Obviously. And that leaves you as whatever her name is.” Isak pulls Even down, inviting him to finish their kiss.

But Even still wants to tease. “Well it makes sense, since you’re the one loving the tight shirts.” Even leans closer, but Isak retreats.

He wants to tease too.

“Is there something like a code?” he tilts his head, “all superheroes have to wear tight horrendous costumes?”

“I don’t know,” Even says, his eyes scanning Isak’s lips, “You would know more about this than me.”

Isak smiles. “I forgot you’re only into romantic movies and tragic love stories.”

Even smiles. “Well now I truly want to see you in a tight costume. You have to dress like a superhero this Halloween.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “I’m not wearing a tight stupid costume just to fulfill your imagination.”

Even smiles “You’re right. You don’t need to wear anything to look like a superhero. You’re already my superhero.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “Oh my God! I hate you!”

“No, you love me.” Even says. Their eyes meet and grow big. Even doesn’t say anything, and Isak doesn’t know if he should brush it off as joke or if it was just part of the teasing.

But if he said it as a joke he wouldn’t pull the blank face Isak is seeing in front of him.

“Maybe I do.” Isak can’t tell how the words managed to flee his mouth, but he can’t tell how his heart shrank and his skin felt tight on his bones.

But Even smiles and speaks. “I’ll take that for now. It’s better that hating me.” his lips brush against Isak’s and they both decide that it’s time to stop the teasing.

It’s time to let their feelings and longing for each other guide them to something they both desire.

 

*

 

A nudge to his ribs wakes him up. “We’re in Oslo, baby.” He shakes his head to refresh his mind and leaves his seat to follow Even. His boyfriend turns around to look at him right after they get off the train.

“You’re the greatest company, truly.” Even jokes.

“I’m sorry.” Isak says, rubbing his eyes and flailing his arms. “I didn’t promise you I’d finish the movie with you so you don’t have right to sulk.”

Even pouts. “I forgive you this time since the sight of you sleeping was really something to look at.”

“So were you watching the movie or me?” Isak takes Even’s hand in his.

“Both. I even took photos of you drooling over my shoulder.” Even jokes.

Isak rolls his eyes and takes a sharp breath in. “I did not drool. But since you mentioned photos, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Even nods.

“Can I,” Isak grabs his phone from his pocket and unlocks it. He selects a photo from his camera roll and shows it to his boyfriend. “Can I post this?” he finishes his question.

Even looks at the screen and then back at Isak. “Post it? Where?”

“Instagram.” Isak answers. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“Isak I don’t mind.” Even stops walking and faces Isak. “Are you sure about it? I mean my face is not showing and it’s dark but it’s pretty obvious how it’s a guy kissing your cheek.”

“I don’t care if you don’t.” Isak says.

“You have people from school following you there.” Even says.

“I know.” Isak pulls Even closer to press their lips together, right in front of everyone, right in the station where he left Even and his ex-girlfriend five months ago. “So?” he asks when their eyes meet again.

Even smiles and nods, and Isak doesn’t wait to carry out what he was allowed to do.

.

_Isakyaki just posted a photo_

_Jonas9000_ nice one bro <3 <3 <3

_Evamohn2 ???_

_Mahahahadi_ did I miss something?

 _Reggismeggis_ broooo I didn’t know you had a brother!

 _Juliandahl_ who is this and why wasn’t I invited?

 

*

Monday, 1st August 2016

They spent the whole afternoon putting things in their places and hanging posters and drawings on the walls, the walls of Even’s new room. His boyfriend officially moved into the kollektiv today and it didn’t take them much time to decorate the room and make it match Even’s style.

Make it scream Even.

Isak found it easy to move around and felt more comfortable since Linn and Eskild, Even’s new flat mates, are absent for their own reasons he didn’t ask about. What matters is that Even got the room he wanted and acted instantly like he owned the place, blaring music and dancing across the living room.

Isak left Even in the bedroom to fetch himself a glass of water from the kitchen. He gives himself the permission to look around the kitchen, checking the cabinets and reading the notes on the fridge. Isak likes the apartment. He didn’t like it much when he first checked it out with Jonas, probably because of the mindset he had at that time, but he can see himself living in a place like this.

He can see himself living with Even in a place like this.

“I don’t think you’re going to find water in the window.” Isak jumps at Even’s voice. He turns around and smiles. “I see you’re snooping around.” Even adds.

Isak relaxes his body on the glass of the window. “I was just checking if my boyfriend is going to find the comfort he needs in this place.” He puts the glass of water he had in his hand on the table next to the window.

Even smiles and walks toward Isak. “I like it here.” He says when he stands right in front of Isak.

“I’m glad you do.” Isak says before lifting his arms to put them around Even’s neck. “I hope your flat mates are going to like me.”

“I think they already do.” Even says. “I showed them your photos and told them to expect to treat you as my roommate.”

“You told them I was your boyfriend?” Isak demands.

“Yeah I did.” Even looks apologetic. “Was it wrong that I said you were my boyfriend?”

Isak shakes his head. “No, not at all. I just didn’t know that you would say that to anyone you meet. I don’t mind at all, I just don’t want you to feel obliged to say or do anything for me.”

Even’s expression softens. “Isak,” he starts. “I would want the whole world to know. I’m so proud and so grateful I have you as a boyfriend. And if I get a chance to show you off, I will.”

Isak laughs and nods. “Okay. Me too, I guess.”

 

_Now playing: X Ambassadors – Gorgeous (upstate sessions)_

_https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr9TaQw-L-M_

“I love this song.” Even says, nuzzling Isak’s nose.

“Just please don’t sing. You massacred every song we listened to so far.” Isak says with a playful grin on his face.

“That’s not true.” Even retorts. “You were pretty entrained by my singing.”

“I was entertained by your attempts at singing.” Isak laughs. “It gave me a good laugh”

“So you don’t really like my voice?” Even pouts and furrows his eyebrows.

“I like your voice.” Isak tilts his head and continues, “When you speak, when you whisper to me, when you laugh. But not really when you sing.”

“Well I’m sorry you’re going to have to withstand it some more.” Even lifts his hand to caress Isak’s chin. “This one is for you.”

Isak rolls his eyes but he doesn’t get time to protest as Even clears his throat and opens his mouth.

But Isak doesn’t laugh this time. He doesn’t feel like laughing. Not when Even’s face screams desire and coquetry. Not when his gaze sends shivers down Isak’s spine and hotness through his veins.

“ _You’re so gorgeous_ ,” Even starts, emitting want and lust from his eyes, “ _cause you make me feel gorgeous._ ” He smiles and lifts his hand to run his fingers through Isak’s hair.

Isak opens his mouth, trying to tease Even and hence escape a situation he loves but doesn’t want to admit out loud. But his intention is denied when Even plants a quick kiss on his lips.

“ _Nobody understands you_.” He sings. “ _We’re nothing they can handle_.” His lips brush against Isak’s.

“ _Every man you put your hands on_.” He takes Isak’s hands from around his neck to put them on his chest. “You _make him feel so goddamn handsome_.”

Isak smiles, and so does Even, but more playfully. More devilishly.

“ _I feel oh so pretty, whenever you’re around. I feel oh so pretty, feel ten feet off the ground._ ”

Isak’s body stiffen and his skin itches, but Even looks like he wants to finish what he started. Even keeps on singing and Isak keeps on melting. And if the singing wasn’t enough, Even starts to sway to the song, making his breath leave invisible traces on Isak’s face and making the little boy follow every move his boyfriend is doing.

“ _We are young. We are free. Like renegades. Like James Dean. Beat the drum. Sing off key. You set me free. You set me free_.”

It’s frustrating for Isak, how they’ve been together for a while now but every time Even touches him, it feels totally different, totally surreal, like every time is the first time. He hopes that it’s the same for Even. He hopes that he still makes Even feel gorgeous. He hopes that he still makes him feel handsome when he puts his hands on him. He hopes that Even will always feel pretty when Isak is around.

Isak rushes to stop Even from singing when he attempts to do the falsetto and the high notes, and all the bravado Even had vanishes to be replaced by giggles that fill the kitchen and the whole apartment and make it sound more alive.

.

 

.

Even <3

Sunday, 21 August

22:56

Ready for tomorrow?

A little bit nervous

But yeah, ready

:D

Baby?

Yeah?

Let’s make the whole world know

Let the whole world know, bby

Good night <3

 

*

Monday, 22 August

The familiar green lockers and the “535” cause him to feel both the excitement and the dread. He’s back to school and the walls and hallways are still exactly the same, but somehow he sees the whole school differently.

He once hated how the school gave him the comfort he failed to find back home.

But it’s a new sensation now. He’s viewing everything in a better light. The floors shine and the lockers look clean, and he knows that it’s all in his head, but he doesn’t think about it that much.

He likes being back to school.

His eyes are still boring at the green locker as if its shape fascinated him when a shadow breaks his attention and makes him turn his head.

“Hi.” She says. Sara.

“Hello.” His eyebrows raise for a bit before they furrow.

“Everything is good?” she asks and Isak nods. He doesn’t say anything because he can’t figure her intention out. She speaks again. “I just wanted to tell you that I am not mad or anything, in case you were wondering.”

Isak furrows his brows and sticks his tongue out in confusion. Sara must’ve caught that as she speaks again. “I saw your Instagram post.”

Isak doesn’t ask her which one because he knows the one she’s talking about. But he doesn’t know what he should say next. This is Sara, the same girl who smiled to her friends while talking bad about them to Isak behind their backs.

“Okay.” He nods and closes his mouth.

Sara doesn’t pronounce the response she opened her mouth for when three girls join her.

“Hi.” They greet her, glancing briefly at Isak. He turns to open his locker, but the girls don’t leave. They’re still chatting right next to him. He doesn’t pay them attention at first, not until one of them says something that grabs his attention.

“But did you see that tall blond hot guy? The one that looks like that actor from the Carrie diaries?”

“Yeah I saw him. He can’t be a first year, he looks so mature.”

“I don’t know his name but he’s mine already, so back off girls.” This was Sara speaking.

Their noise stops and he can hear how the girls whispered “there he is” in unison. Isak smirks.

He doesn’t know if he’s being evil right now, but he smirks.

He knows for sure who they were talking about.

“Hello.” Isak turns at Even’s greeting. He smiles and leans back against the lockers, holding his books against his chest.

“Hi.” Isak smiles and turns his gaze to the shocked girls.

“Hi.” Says Sara. She looks at Isak, clearly hinting that he should introduce the “tall blond hot guy”.

“Hello.” Even waves at the girls. “You’re Isak’s friends?”

Isak can’t help but snort. “I don’t know about that.” He’s really evil, but he doesn’t feel bad about it.

“I’m Sara, and you?” she doesn’t react to Isak’s behavior and flashes Even one of her flirtatious smiles.

“I’m Even.” he moves closer to Isak and the latter doesn’t waste time to throw his arm around his back. “Isak’s boyfriend.”

Isak wishes he could capture the looks on the girls’ faces when their jaws drop and the color of Sara’s face changes. “Yeah. He’s my boyfriend.” _So you back off,_ he thinks.

The girls freeze in front of the couple and Isak doesn’t think of anything better than pulling his boyfriend closer and kissing him on the cheek. He doesn’t give the girls any further attention as Even faces him and looks him in the eyes.

“Welcome to Nissen, baby.” Isak smiles.

“Thanks.” Even. “I guess my words were right.”

Isak tilts his head. “What words?” he asks.

Even offers a half smile. “I’m not a friend from Nissen after all.”

.

Sunday, 2 October 1:05: Lykke til Mahdi.

“The girl that looks like Natalie Portman?” Jonas.

“She’s pretty too, but I’m talking about her friend. The blonde one.” Mahdi.

“I don’t think you stand a chance, Mahdi. Give it up.” Isak.

“I think Mahdi has a chance, what kind of friends are you?” Even.

“Friends who don’t lie to their friends.” Isak.

They’re sitting in the tub of the washroom of Eva’s house. All five of them. Mahdi, Jonas and Magnus talk about girls from first year that caught their attention while Isak and Even enjoy teasing them and judging their taste. The tub is too small to host them all so Isak is almost all over Even, and neither seems to mind.

They all get startled when the door suddenly opens and a girl comes in. Mahdi’s girl. They all poke Mahdi to tease him but their eyes bug out when she closes the door and proceeds to pee right in front of their eyes. The boys, except for the shocked Mahdi, don’t even try to control their laughs.

“It’s your chance. Go get her.” Even whispers to Mahdi.

“She just peed in front of us.” Isak whispers too.

“So? We all pee.” Even shrugs and turns his attention back to Mahdi. “Go for it.”

The girl finishes and she proceeds to wash her hands. Mahdi struggles to get out of the crowded bathtub. “Lykke til Mahdi.” Magnus whispers and Mahdi turns his head to scowl at him.

Isak watches as Mahdi approaches the girl but doesn’t get to watch his friend when Even steals his attention. “I think we should leave. I don’t want you to ruin this for your friend with your laughs.”

Isak chuckles. “I don’t think we’re ruining anything. Mahdi doesn’t really stand a chance with her even if we leave-” Isak doesn’t finish when Jonas pokes him from the side. He motions him to look at Mahdi, and when Isak does so, Mahdi is fully making out with his girl. He doesn’t have time to react as Even gets up and rushes the boys to hurry so they can all let Mahdi enjoy his moment in piece, away from the noise they were making.

And Isak feels that Even will be Mahdi’s favorite person very soon, but he doesn’t mind that at all.

His boyfriend deserves to be everyone’s favorite person.

 

*

 

Monday 3 October, 11:40: Går ned på chicks

The hideous thumb wrestling Isak and his boyfriend are having continues under the cafeteria table, away from everyone’s eyes, well maybe not away from the Jonas who sits right next to Isak.

“I swear she didn’t have a clitoris.” Jonas says and they all look at him in bewilderment.

“You go down on girls?” Magnus asks.

“Yeah I do. The girls really like it so why not.”

“I didn’t know we should go down on girls.” Magnus looks at Isak. “Did you ever go down on girls?”

“Wrong person, Mags.” Isak says while Even, Jonas and Mahdi chuckle.

“I meant in the past, Isak.” Magnus corrects. He turns his gaze to Even. “What about you, Even?”

Even only smiles but doesn’t get to answer when Vilde and Sana come to their table.

“Do you guys want to join the theatre this year?” Vilde asks. The boys stay silent for a while.

“I don’t know.” Jonas says.

“We are the leaders of the Kosegruppa and we want to have you guys.” Vilde says.

Mahdi asks about the group Vilde talked about and she explains it to him. “We have a meeting this Friday. Perhaps you want to come?”

They exchange looks before Jonas speaks. “I don’t know. It’s Friday, you know.”

“We’ll be there!” Even exclaims. The boys snap their heads to frown at him. The girls smile and nod before they leave.

“Are you serious? I don’t give a damn about a theatre group.” Isak tells Even.

“You are not forced to do anything if you don’t want to. I’ll be there.” Even shrugs. “I just saved you from Vilde, that’s all.”

“You want to join the Kosegruppa?” Isak’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“I owe Sana a lot. I’ll be there.” Even says. “As I said, you guys don’t have to go.”

“I’m not going.” Jonas, Mahdi and Magnus declare.

“I owe no one nothing. I’m not going either.”

*

Friday, 7 October. 19:15: Kosegruppa.

Isak does in fact end up going. Even didn’t force him to join. He didn’t even bring the Kosegruppa talk since that Monday morning. But Isak doesn’t want to spend the Friday’s night with anyone but his boyfriend.

Also because his friends suddenly had plans and only informed him about them very late.

He stares at Vilde, Eva and Sana who are busy welcoming the comers and giving out bread. “Remind me why am I here?” Isak asks his boyfriend who is sitting a step behind him.

“For the bread.” Even jokes, pinching Isak’s cheeks. “For your boyfriend.”

Isak sighs. “I should’ve just stayed home and played Fifa.” He turns his head and looks up to see Even. “The things I do for you.” He shakes his head.

He turns his attention immediately back to the girls, the koseguppa’s leaders, when Vilde starts speaking. She keeps on talking and explaining the future activities of the group while Even keeps on playing with Isak’s cheeks, nose and jawline. Isak’s eyes automatically roll when she talks about a love exercise he wants nothing to do with. “So can you stand up so we can start the exercise?” Vilde demands.

Isak rolls his eyes once more but gets up nonetheless. He waits for Even to come to his side but his boyfriend has other plans for them as he motions to the exit and hints that Isak should follow him. Isak does so and they both leave the meeting to get out of the school building.

Even sits on a bench outside the school and Isak claims a place right next to him. “Why did you leave?” Isak questions.

“You didn’t seem to enjoy it at all. I could hear your eyes roll.” Even says. He leans closer to bury his face in Isak’s neck. “I’m cold. You smell nice.”

Isak gets goose bumps. “Your nose tip is so cold. Let’s go home.”

Even chuckles and his breath tickles Isak’s skin. “Home as in my place?” he lifts his head to look at Isak.

Isak nods. “Yeah, let’s go there. It’s warm there.”

“So that’s our home?” Even demands.

“If you want it to be.” Isak smiles. “It’s funny how I almost moved there.” He laughs. “Technically I did move there. I’m with you in that room most of the time.”

Even laughs. “Maybe in another universe, you really did get that room instead of me.”

Isak raises his brows. “So now you talk about universes too?”

Even pouts. “It’s fun. To think about the possibilities. I mean maybe in another universe Marianne refused to come to Oslo and you got the room.”

“The result would probably be the same. You would be in the room with me almost all the time.”

“Yeah. The detail that would change majorly is who pays the rent.”

Isak opens his mouth, pretending to be offended. “Did you just say that? Are you hinting at something?”

Even laughs. “I’m convinced I will never, ever, get tired of teasing you.” He grabs Isak’s head in his hands and places quick kisses all over his face. Isak fakes to struggle for the release.

“Maybe in another universe you don’t enjoy teasing me.” Isak pretends to wipe his face with the back of his hand.

“That universe doesn’t exist. It doesn’t make sense.” Even says.

“You can’t just say a parallel universe doesn’t make sense. It’s not how it works.”

“I don’t care. A universe where I don’t tease you doesn’t exist. A universe where we’re not together doesn’t exist either.” Even tucks a curl behind Isak’s ear.

“We don’t know that.” Isak says.

“Let’s not think about that. Let’s only think about the universes where we meet and where I get to be with you and you get to be with me.”

Isak smiles. “Okay.” He nods.

“We probably met in different ways in other universes.” Even offers.

“Yeah.” Isak smiles. “Maybe in another universe I didn’t take the train or took another one and the first time we met was at school.”

“I probably fell for you the first day of school in that universe.” Even says.

“I wouldn’t blame you.” Isak giggles. “How do you think we talked for the first time in that universe?”

Even narrows his eyes and hums. “Maybe in that universe, we’re having our first conversation right now and right on this bench.”

Isak shakes his head. “That’s impossible. I would’ve never agreed to come to this ridiculous meeting.”

“We never know.” Even insists. “Something could’ve happened that forced you to come. You were blackmailed or something.”

Isak snorts. “Oh really? I thought you didn’t like action movies and thrillers.”

“I’m talking reality here.” Even retorts.

Isak laughs. “Enough with universes. Let’s focus on the one we’re living in.”

“I really love this one.” Even whispers and pulls Isak close to him.

“I love this universe too.” Isak kisses Even’s lips that never fail to be soft. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Even repeats. “In each and every universe. I love you.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. This AU is over...
> 
> I would like to thank everyone who showed this work love by giving kudos or leaving comments. You have no idea how happy your feedback makes me feel.
> 
> I truly enjoyed writing this. I am not a good writer, I'm not even a writer and I feel a little bit bad that I'm posting in the same tag as many ridiculously talented writers, but I am also a little bit proud of this work. As I said before, English is not my native language, and I struggle sometimes to find the words I want, but this was a challenge for me, and I'm glad I finished it.
> 
> Tell me how you felt about this chapter or/and the whole fic in a comment if you'd like to leave one.
> 
> Thank you again. And goodbye, for now...
> 
> Have a nice day/evening/night. :*


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